 |
|
 |
|
Overweight partners prompt some women to withhold sex in hopes it
might encourage weight loss
|
|
On Thu, 9 Apr 2009 19:15:27 -0700 (PDT), I Jah Rastafari <...@hotmail.com
I'm Just Not That Into His Weight Gain
Overweight partners prompt some women to withhold sex in hopes it
might encourage weight loss.by Tobi Elkin
Become a FanSubscribe to this AuthorMessage this AuthorBuzz up!Read
More: attraction , boyfriend , communication , couple , emotional
attraction , exercise , gym , husband , obese , overweight , partner ,
physical attraction , sex , weight , withhold sex
Liz and Danny* have been in a committed relationship for more than a
decade after a serendipitous meeting at a Mexican restaurant while
both were seated at different tables. At the time they met, she was a
sprite-like redhead with a quirky sense of humor; he was tall and thin
with a mop of curly black hair. Physically attracted from the moment
they locked eyes, emotional intimacy came later and grew over time.
Fast-forward 10 years. At 41, Liz remains slender. But Danny, 46, is
no longer the lean, dark, handsome type she fell for. Now, she says,
his 6-ft.-1-inch frame is "more than a little fleshy and mushy" and
the weight gain is a turnoff. So much so, she's found herself
uninterested in sleeping with him. She's unhappy; he's growing more
resentful.
"It's hard to admit but he's simply not attractive to me any more,"
she says. "I'm turned off by his belly fat and love handles."
While the couple is talking about the problem, Liz concedes that she's
thinking about leaving the relationship if Danny doesn't, literally,
shape up. She feels he's become so complacent and entitled that he has
little motivation to change.
"It's kind of symbolic of the way he feels about our relationship,"
Liz says. "I have refused to have sex with him on several occasions."
We've all heard of men who pressure their wives, partners or
girlfriends to lose weight, and often female fears of losing a man
will prompt a major overhaul. On the flip side, experts say women
often withhold sex as a weapon of last resort when their partners
refuse to or don't lose weight.
Dr. Laura Triplett, an assistant professor at California State
University-Fullerton, conducts research on body image and the social
implications of physical appearance. She has found that women in their
20s in particular stop having sex with their partners when they don't
meet their idealized notion of what a man should look like.
"They usually give an ultimatum: 'We're going on a vacation and you
have until June to look this good,' and they give him a picture that
they want him to mold himself to. They buy him gift certificates to
trainers and gym memberships as incentives," Triplett explains.
It's no secret that obesity is a national epidemic: The number of
obese American adults outweighs the number of those who are merely
overweight, according to data released in January 2009, by the
National Center for Health Statistics. The data reveals that more than
34 percent of Americans are obese, compared to 32.7 percent who are
overweight; nearly six percent of Americans are "extremely" obese.
Sabine* says Kurt* began piling on the pounds 18 months into their
three-year relationship.
"I'm not sure if it was because he was getting too comfortable or
because his adolescent skinny boy metabolism was just growing into
middle-aged fat man metabolism. Regardless, he was getting bigger and
not in a good way… he was growing man boobs," Sabine recalls. "I was
getting really grossed out."
|
| |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:15:01 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
Know the feeling... First wife left me for that very reason, as I already
said in this group. Tell the whore to die and file for divorce yourself
Danny! She doesn't love you for you, she loves what she wants you to be.
And now that you no longer fit within the range she found acceptable, she
wants to change you back or leave you.
If you lose the weight, she owns you. It will only be a matter of time
before you are threatened with divorce if you don't take out the trash.
Slap the bitch back into reality, file for divorce first.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 11:42:14 -0400, "Stephanie" <...@nohow.com
I am curious if you felt that you had to worry about losing yrouself and
"being owned" before this incident? Because you may gave just chosen a
shitty woman. Or you may be really insecure.
How this reads to me. Two people meet and get together based on a *physical
attraction.* I don't know if this is the case for you or not. But it was for
the folks in the article. Time moves on, as it will do, and one of the
partners gains a bunch of weight. What is te remaining partneer spposed to
do? Just suck it up and have sex within someone for whom s/he feels no
atttraction? Go without physical intimacy? This is the normal kind of life
shit that both parties need to cme together on. I could be no more satisfied
with my partner taking the attitude that well now I am fat, love me or fuck
off than I could with my partner saying well you are fat, loose weight or I
am outta here. This kind of unilateral approach is more indicative of a
marital problem than a fat problem and will rear its sugly head over
SOMETHING, if not weight then thte choice of house, thee choice to have kids
or not, or whatever.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:02:14 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
What if instead of extra pounds that Danny had, he instead got into a car
accident? A few scars in the wrong location, or even a broken nose, can
also cause him to no longer "look attractive" to his wife.
Many people fall in lust over looks, but love is normally based more on
who the person is inside and less on what the person looks like on the
outside. It is obvious from this story that his wife never grew out of
the physical look stage, never connecting with the Danny inside the skin
suit. As such, Danny will be much better off finding someone who can love
him for him and not just his looks.
And yes, that also applies to women who are preasured to lose weight by
their husbands or boyfriends. "Love" based on physical looks is not love
at all. What will happen when the gray hair or the wrinkles come? Will
he force her to dye her hair and get a face lift? Probably...
The marital problem is that the wife no longer considers her husband "good
enough" for her, by virtue of his looks. THAT is indicative of a SERIOUS
problem in the mindset of the wife.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:50:59 -0400, "Stephanie" <...@nohow.com
I hear what you are saying. But unless your view is that weight is entirely
out of the person's hands, then it does not make a parallel. In any event,
if I were in a horrible accident that rendered me repulsive to my husband,
thene hopefully the rest of our relationship would continue. I would not
expect him to continue sex if he was not interested! (Never understood mercy
sex... but perhaps that is me.)
Well you speak about "just looks" and if that were the case, I would agree
with you. I gree that there is more to love than just looks. But I don't
agree that one grows out of or beyond the desire for physical attraction
with their mate or the subsequent implication that wanting sexual desire in
your marriage is somehow less... noble and wonderful and mature.
Therre is certainly more to love than physical attraction (and physical
attraction is more than looks). Physical attraction and sex are a very
important part of many marriages. Love withouut sex would not be a marriage
for some, myself and my husband included. Then we could be .. room mates.
There is much to be attracted to in another person; their attitide, their
smile. And theere is a lot of room for movement within that with someone
youlove.
But there are things that could make someone become beyond just not Mr or
Mrs Hottie all the way to gross. And what constitutes gross is dependant on
the person. If DH stopped showering, for example. Or grew a beard down to
his knees. Just yuck. Just so yuck that I would not really want to touch
him. Likewise if he gained 200 lbs, I would not be interested in getting all
freaky with him. Would I still love hiim? Absolutely. Would we still enjoy
many things, no doubt. But one whole facet of our relationship would be
completely different. Now of course I would not reject him and say you have
a week and a half to lose 200 lbs or I am outta here. But if his reply was
something like well I like my new 200lbs, then we would be having completely
new and different conversations on sexual relations!
Also, another thing to consider is that one of tese women spoke to it being
representative of a sense of copmplacency. This is a avery common problem,
what DH calls the race is over, why wear the uniform? The ring is on the
finger, you bought the merchanise, I don't need to care about your happiness
or pleasing you anymore. That can come in a 100 different forms. We cannot
tell from the small amount of info in the article
Well usually those grey hairs and wrinkles are happening gradually to both
at the same time, also at the same time that the natural drive for sex
wanes.
I am sorry to hear that. But I still can't help be struck by the comment
that followed that if you had lost weight you would have "lost" and that you
would then be forced to take out the garbage or some such. Were you already
enmeshed in marriage centered around control in the first place?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:29:44 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
I'm saying that people's bodies change. People's weight change, people
get older, people don't always look the same year after year. When
someone loves another deeply, not just for superficial reasons, they are
able to "look past" or otherwise ignore such changes. Giving the partner
an ultimatum of "change your looks or I am gone" shows that in those
cases, no deeper love ever formed.
Would you give him the ultimatum of shower, cut the hair, or lose the
weight, or you are going to get a divorce?
Danny's wife said exactly that. And that and that alone is why he needs
to divorce her. That and that alone is why he would be better off without
her.
If you are willing to change yourself for the other person, on risk of
divorce, then you give that person control over you. They know what
button to push to get you to do what they want.
Lose weight, or I'm leaving. So he loses weight.
How long will it take before she demands cutting a beard, changing hair
styles, or some other aspect, or she leaves him? How long before she will
demand other things as well? Would you like your husband to tell you to
do the damn laundry now, or he's going to leave you?
I don't demand my wife (either the first one, or my new one) to change to
suit me. Do this, that, or the other thing, or I'm going to divorce
you... WTF?! Most people would be outraged at such a statement, but when
the demand is weight related it's ok? Sorry, I don't buy it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 21:50:31 GMT, "Robin King" <...@worldnet.att.net
"The Master" <...@sdf.lonestar.org...
change to
but when
It's even more specific than that. If I lost a lot of weight
(for whatever reason) and became thin and ugly, I doubt there'd be
many people encouraging me to gain it back in order to save my
relationship.
Robin
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:02:14 -0400, "Stephanie" <...@nohow.com
'Anybody" does not matter for sit. What does your PARTNER care about?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 17:59:56 -0400, "Stephanie" <...@nohow.com
Bodies do change, in ways that something can be done about and some that
can't. And therein lies the difference. For the vast majority of people,
weight is something you can chose to do something about. One doesn't have
to. One has choices. but every single solitary choice we make has
consequences that are possibly positive or negative. I can choose to smoke
or quit smoking. I can choose to marry or remain single.
If I choose to remain overwieight when life well lived begins to show on my
now no longer teenaged frame, then the consequences may be that I learn to
gain deeper confidence in other aspects of myself and my strenght. That's
great! But other consequences are likley to include my romantic
opportunuities will be fewer.
You value the ability to look within someone and see their deeper self.
That's great. You have the right to that value. Your ex-wife may not have
shared that. (She may have been a nasty bitchc for all I know, I am just
going by what may be the case based on the info available to this point.)
She may have valued the things you could no longer do together that perhaps
fitness level prohibitted or the sense of lust joy that you may have once
shared. And she has the right to that valule too.
THAT is acceptnace, if you ask me.
It was a half page article. We cannot really know what ensued there. But I
continue to completely disagree that love me love my extra 200lbs, or my
failure to brush my teeth equals lack of "deeper love." The opposite can
also be said. The person who instists on maintaint their ways lacks love of
THEIR partner by taking their needs seriously.
Well we don't operate that way. We actually speak to each other. We woudl
attempt to find a compromise or whatever. But if his attitude was well my
stinkiness is the New Me and you can love it or take a hike... well yah I
suspec that eventually I would be hiking. There is nothng in my marriage
rule book that says I need to have sex with someone I consider repulsive. It
would be best for both of us if he found someone to love who also had a
disdain for showering.
It was a half page article. You have no idea what happened leading up to
that.
Would she have exerted hat control? If sos, then you married the wrong
woman. I had my bags packed yesterday. I was not going to divorce him (and
it had nothing to do with weight, hygene of any kind or anything). He asked
me not to leave. We discussed. I stayed. What did we learn from that
episode? If I want to get my way, I can just threaten to leave? I guess I
could play that card a couple more times if I were a shit before if got old.
But who would want to be married that way.
By your way, theree can never be ANY deeper love. As soon as you do anything
for yoru spouse, you loose power to them. A threat of divorce can be two
things, a wake up call or a power play. Who kows, you could have been handed
a wake up call and turn it into a power play. That's too bad.
I don't know. Is that the kind of woman you married? Is that the kind of man
you are? Sometimes you get to the point that the only thing your spouse will
hear is This Is A Show Stopper for me. ANd then I am stopping the show if
this does not change. Did you wife not attempt to tell you that this was
important to you before the ultimatum? What did you choose to do with this
information? Love me the way I am or fuck off?
Well youa re the one divorced, not me. You don't have to buy anything I say.
But from where I sit, marriage is not always an easy thing. it seems to take
twice as much effort to keep your spouse at the front of your mind. Our own
needs are obvious to us.There's a good deal less so. If you don't attend to
your spouse's needs in a marriage, well yah they are gonna leave you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:26:25 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
And if you can't stand the choices your partner made, you would be better
off apart. Forcing them to change to suit you is not the answer.
If you really are curious, we were both fat when we got married. I stayed
the same weight, she got a lap band. She lost half her weight, demanded I
lose weight also. It didn't happen, she left me. Oh well...
Danny's wife does...
She did it, when she demanded him lose the weight. Obviously the answer
is yes, she just needed to find the next cause to threaten him over.
And that's exactly what I said. Danny would be better off without her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:34:21 -0400, "Stephanie" <...@nohow.com
What is a lap band?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:29:35 -0400, "Stephanie" <...@nohow.com
Abolutely! Without a doubt. She told you what she needed. It was different
than what you want to provide. Done and done.
Well now. That's shitty. Meaning no offense in general to your wx wife since
I don't know her.... But well now. That's just shitty.
Amen to that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:33:46 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
Oh. And here I thought we were arguing? :)
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:34:56 -0400, "Stephanie" <...@nohow.com
It is one of my favorite things to do in the world. Fun while it lasted!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:09:35 -0700 (PDT), Doug Freyburger <...@yahoo.com
Jason W <...@nospam.com
I wonder how many people noticed the switch in tenses
in the two paragraphs above and what they mean.
In the first paragraph the past perfect "had been known"
suggests a phase that had completed and was no longer
current. In the second paragraph present "give up" and
"refuses" suggest a phase that is still current. When I
first read the post I noticed the wording and figured it
was a trick.
Lying about the past is a problem. Lying that the past
is no longer current is a problem. Admitting a past and
truthfully asserting that phases is over, that's something
some men mind and some don't.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 21:38:13 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
Sounds like fun. Ok.
Ok, I know she is a slut that currently fucks anything with a pulse.
Actually, I would expect her to remain a slut that fucks anything with a
pulse... While I have a pulse, so do my neighbors, the mail man, the
stock boy at the local grocery store...
If that was the type of woman I wanted, you get what you ask for. I
personally, however, would not ask her to marry me in the first place.
What about a hypothetical for you.
Your girl friend is a stripper, and you know she is a stripper. You ask
her to marry you, and then demand that she stops stripping. For argument
sake, she agrees, and everything is fine. But one day, you notice that
she has a lot of brand new shoes, all much nicer then you think you two
can afford.
What is going to go through your head? Will you assume she is stripping
again, or will that thought even enter your head?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Fri, 10 Apr 2009 18:01:15 -0400, "Stephanie" <...@nohow.com
It is a pretty simple equation. People who make demands get divorced or have
crappy marriages. People who try to please their spouses often are happy.
Crazy notion.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Mon, 13 Apr 2009 15:38:09 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
I read that to mean that she fucks anything with a pulse, as I stated in
my reply to you. Having sexual experience is not the same as being a
whore that doesn't charge, so I am now silightly confused about your
hypothetical situation. Is she a whore that doesn't charge, or simply
a normal woman who has had previous experience and not a Jerry Springer
quality slut?
If we are talking about a normal experienced woman, I would not feel the
need to ask her in the first place. Do you ask your girl friend if she is
going to fuck around? I sure hope not... If you have to ask, she's
obviously too much for you to satisfy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:01:41 -0700 (PDT), "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
On Apr 13, 10:38 am, The Master
<...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
So, if the guy in a relationship/marriage quits his job and watches
Reality TV all day long as bills pill up and the children stay awake
all night crying with hunger pangs - and finally the wifey says "Get a
job or I am leaving", You the therapist would advise " If you get a
job she will own you. Better to stay on the coach and be who you are
than try to live up to someones elses standard!" Such an attitude is
insane, or at least pathetic and is guaranteed to produce ruined
relationships. Because only losers fall for such "logic" and non-
losers have choices.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Tue, 14 Apr 2009 08:28:05 -0700 (PDT), kickinkelly <...@gmail.com
On Apr 13, 5:01 pm, "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
My husband left me because I was too skinny. He always liked fat
girls, I don;t know why he married me, I was athletc build on the
slightly thick side....always caught him looking at porn with giant
giant titties, finally caught him on a BBW website.
Ironic thing is, now I am a good 30 plus pounds overweight!!!
Life blows .................fat or thin!!
His new girlfriend has no neck and "kankles".............oh well.
Can't please them all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:03:58 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
If after the threat, he came to "The Master's Therapy and Bait Shope",
I'd ask him if he liked being threatened. If he said no, and chances are
he would, I'd tell him he knows what to do. Then I'd charge him $100.
The best part of being a therapist, you never actually give them the
answer, you let them work it out on their own.
If she was worried about ruining the relationship, she wouldn't threaten
him with divorce trying to force him to change, would she?
They still have choices. Both people have at least three choices in
either case:
1) Alter your wants/desire/self
2) Refuse to Alter, and just fight over it
3) Divorce
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:51:29 -0700 (PDT), "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
On Apr 14, 9:03 am, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospamwrote:
Getting fat is no different than any other massive personal failure -
like getting fired for drunkeness or being caught with illegal drugs
or the worst sort of child pornography. There is not one good thing
about it. It cannot be defended in the cold light of day. And your
your significant other will instantly figure out the meaning of your
choice to become unfuckable.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On 15 Apr 2009 08:22:32 GMT, terryc <...@woa.com.au
So, it is the being caught that is the problem?
So it is only the worst cases?
Interesting attitudes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:04:00 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
And if you found out that your partner had some child pornography, would
you tell them to stop it or you would divorce them? I for one would
divorce them right away, wouldn't you? No ultimatum needed, because even
if they did agree to it, they would probably go back to their old ways
anyhow.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:08:48 +0000, The Master <...@nospam.sdf.lonestar.org.nospam
And not just "normal" kiddie porn, but the "worst sort" of kiddie porn.
What a fucking dumbass...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anonymous Wrote:
On Apr 15, 12:51 am, "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
So getting fat equates to getting caught with “the worst sort of child
pornography”????? Tell me dumbass, what sort of child pornography is
NOT the “worst”? Are there varying degrees of child pornography? Are
you trying to rationalize child pornography into categories by saying
that some of it is actually worse than others and why? Do you engage
in what you would consider mild child pornography? Because what kind
of a moron or deviant would actually write or think like that?
Furthermore what kind of a retard would even remotely consider weight
gain as the same as partaking in child porn? Are you really that
fucking stupid or are you just trying to make yourself feel better by
categorizing your deviance with an issue that afflicts millions of so-
called normal people. I guess an individual addicted to something as
deviant as child porn would desperately try and equate their revolting
addiction with a more mainstream issue. How else could they live with
themselves?
You fucking make me wonder (and not in a good way) every time you
decide to express yourself here. You’re either a sick deluded fuck or
a complete idiot.
Ragnar
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Wed, 15 Apr 2009 11:34:24 -0700 (PDT), "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
I referred to "the worst kind" of illegality just so no one would
think I was being overly kind to fat acceptance.
It is too easy to be excessively tolerant of the philosophy of FA. The
thought patterns behind it are pure evil. Unless you think that
eternally posing as a helpless victim is somehow smart or even
virtuous.
Why not start a movement called "Failure Acceptance?" It could welcome
every sort of person who is looking to return to the moral condition
of childhood.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anonymous Wrote:
On Apr 15, 2:34 pm, "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.netOh that explains it; you were concerned for your image. Too bad you
made yourself look like a deviant perv in the process.
“Pure evil” Good God, here we go again with the ridiculous over the
top rhetoric. Do you know how to communicate like a rational person?
Or do you just plain enjoy looking like a loon? Or maybe you just
don't really know what pure evil actually is?
No one is claiming victimhood here unless you count the trolls that
incessantly whine about RL harassment by LV.
LOL, better yet, why not start a group called “Hysterical Over The Top
Kooks Acceptance”? You could be the moderator. All three of you can
all sit around and freak out over things like evil fat people, the
sale of fried Twinkies at carnivals, the Jewish conspiracy behind 911
and Barak Obama’s secret hidden birth records. You sir are a nutjob.
Now knock off your bullshit or we all laugh at you a second time.
Ragnar
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Wed, 15 Apr 2009 14:45:50 -0700 (PDT), "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
A standard tactic in debate used by seemingly all FAers when the
question comes up regarding the harm done in a relationship when one
of them "lets themselves go" is to say, "If that is so important to
you then what if I get cancer/injured/etc"? For the victimhood addict
it must seem perfect. At a stroke, they have shifted the focus to the
sort of events over which no one has control and subtly implied that
their partner is the kind of person who would abandon a helpless,
innocent victim of such events. Thus, they are doubly "victimized" and
the other is put on the defensive (maybe).
Good appearance and sleek fitness are like any other asset in a
relationship; like financial success. They are all good to have.
Adults realize that we all will lose it all soon enough and one must
set priorities and make compromises but still in all it is better to
be rich and healthy than poor and sick. A good job is better than a
crappy one. Pretty is better than gross. This applies to everyone -
who is honest with themselves.
If the bread-winner in a partnership gradually lost interest in
working and went part time and then half-time until finally the other
got tired of the picture and mentioned it - what should we say if
slacker person responded, "If you care so much about money, what if I
got hurt and couldn't work? I want to be accepted for being me"!!! , I
bet that even you would recognize that as the voice of a sociopath or
a cruelly manipulative person.
Whenever someone demands to be loved or accepted for "who they
are" .they are speaking the language of rank. Because the essence of
the notion is that they be accepted for what they are rather for what
they do (or not do). Titled nobility talk and think this way. I mean,
an employee would never say that to the boss but the boss
automatically assumes that attitude toward the employee. He has higher
rank, iows.
The correct interpretation of this standard FA posture is that the
person in using it feels that they are of innately higher rank than
the others around them and that distorting issues (lying) is reflexive
and effortless. A text book sociopath, iows. Evil is not too strong a
word for such people.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anonymous Wrote:
On Apr 15, 5:45 pm, "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
So posing a “what if” scenario to your partner when explaining or
discussing a point of view is now considered seeking victimization
status in your book. Interesting theory but in most cases its shear
lunacy.
In a committed relationship love is supposed to be unconditional.
Placing conditions or restrictions on any part of that relationship
based on the other persons appearance is not healthy and basically
invalidates the commitment itself. Visual aspects of attraction are
highly subjective and are not the real building blocks of a long term
relationship. While I agree you have to be physically attracted to a
person to enter into a relationship, there has to be much more below
the surface in order for that relationship to grow. Withholding
intimacy and marginalizing your partner based upon the shallow values
of appearance or weight gained or weight loss is not conducive to a
healthy and lasting relationship. If that is indeed the case
obviously you were attracted to that person for all the wrong reasons
in the first place. In today’s world, far too many people commit to
relationships for the shallow reasons of appearance, status and money
and this is evident by the ridiculously high rates of divorce. People
like you who perpetuate this tragic way of thinking and sell the idea
that somehow we will all be better off basing our relationships and
lives on superficial qualities are one of the real problems in society
today. When you consider the marginalization of the American family,
the extremely high divorce rates and the loss of conservative social
values in favor of an anything goes approach to relationships and
life, one can easily conclude that your way of thinking is very much
part of the problem and quite frankly that s the real evil here. The
problem is not the fat lady that waddles through Wal-Mart eating
potato chips but it is this pervasive attitude that useless
superficial appearances somehow measure an individual’s success and
their worth in life. People like you seem to think that life is a
snapshot of American Idol where it doesn’t matter how talented or
worthy you are if you haven’t got the right look, lol.
Bottom line is this, if you want to base your sexual and relationship
interaction on the shallow end of human behavior, that’s fine, just
don’t cry when you are alone or shackled to an individual that isn’t
interested in being with you once the thrill begins to fade. In the
grand scheme of things, if the worst thing you can point to about your
partner is that they’ve gained some weight and you are willing to
punish them over it, then you are vile and truly you are undeserving
of another individual’s devotion. I’m sorry, but people that think
like you make me sick to my stomach. For the life of me I cannot
figure out how creatures like you can place a significant life leading
value on the unnecessary and useless aspects of human behavior while
at the same time happily living with yourselves. I guess your very
existence is the price some of us must pay for allowing our societal
core values to become so corrupt.
BTW, since we are ranting and over the top in our arguments I thought
I’d just throw this in; some of the classic examples of being a
sociopath are shallow emotions, callous lack of empathy, lack of
remorse, a grandiose sense of self and the need for attention or
stimulation, which my dear dumbass are all example of the behavior of
the tolls that frequent this group. And YES this includes you.
Ragnar
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
On Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:46:48 -0700 (PDT), "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
If someone told me, "I know I could make more money if I worked more
hours but other things are more important to me", neither I nor anyone
I know would criticize them for it. If they said, "People who like
having lots of money to spend are shallow, if not the cause of social
decay" I would conclude that they were bs artists. I would conclude
that until they proved to me that they would turn down a raise if it
were offered to them. Same thing with regard to a fitter bod - their
own or their partners.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anonymous Wrote:
On Apr 16, 7:46 pm, "rdu...@pdq.net" <...@pdq.net
Interesting leap of logic, lol.
Ragnar
|
|
|
|
|
|
|