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Ava Rain-my poem
Ava Rain.
Why did I bring you so much pain.
Sweet Ava Rain.
Why do I bring you so much shame.
Why don't I let you free.
So you can see.
See the beauty my demon hides
from you.
Let the world see all of the wonderful
things you can do.
Ava Rain I can feel you clawing at my flesh.
Ava Rain,Im terrified to let you out.
Oh,but my soul craves your freedom.
You are the part of me ,that is the real me.
Im so frightend,taking this step.
But it is how it has to be.
The only way I can save me.
Ava Rain.
I will let you free so what did ya think
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Uh, the rhyming is a bit simplistic, and there's no clear symbolism to steer the more ethereal symbols for the reader.
Is this about an unborn child?
Being more direct about that would make it a stronger piece.
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I think that unless it's a blues song, you've got some problems.
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Sounds like an early Beatles song, but darker
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Reminds me of a moment lost within a moment
The wall/s built by some to retain control
Pain or Pleasure
Release an be alone
Conceal an be of company
We all have our reasons to dwell within Ignis Fatuus
PeAcE
~S~
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In my mind
i shovel dirt onto the lid of a coffin
lying in the yellow ground
beneath the lid
love
hope
religion
peace
i am yawning during the peak of the battle
smashed wood, smoking crevices, dead men
the acrid smoke rises above us
all of us
away into the air
far away from this world
far from the cries
of newborn infants
in the shadow
of the mill
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Jim:
Uh, the rhyming is a bit simplistic, and there's no clear symbolism to steer the more ethereal symbols for the reader.
Is this about an unborn child?
Being more direct about that would make it a stronger piece.
um no its suppose to be like the better side of me.
The one who wants to live life to the fullest,but my fears are trapping it in.
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Beautiful dreamer:
Jim:
Uh, the rhyming is a bit simplistic, and there's no clear symbolism to steer the more ethereal symbols for the reader.
Is this about an unborn child?
Being more direct about that would make it a stronger piece.
um no its suppose to be like the better side of me.
The one who wants to live life to the fullest,but my fears are trapping it in.
Yeah, I got none of that.
To me it was the typical waaaah my GF is mean to me crap.
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Ok anyone have any positive comments
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Beautiful dreamer:
ok anyone have any positive comments
Work on the issues.
Fake praise doesn't help you.
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Beautiful dreamer:
ok anyone have any positive comments
yeah, cool fairy
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