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Debate and Discourse: Awesome Post by Salvation122, in Strange & Embarrassing Moments, Cucumber v. Hot Wax Edition - Awesome Posts? - Penny Arcade Forums

05-14-2008, 09:39 AM bowen I may have missed this during my long hiatus, but damn, is this funny as hell.

Forum: Debate and Discourse Post: Strange & Embarrassing Moments, Cucumber v.

Hot Wax Edition Posted by: Salvation122 Quote: : Quote: : Quote: : Should I repost the log from when I accidently punched that chick in the face over the internet That was a strange moment to be sure, but not embarrassing.

Sir, it was incredible .

Bw h? Well, okay then Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler [19:41] Idiot IM Girl: k justins list got on my aim somehow so am i showing up on ur list now too?

And i know you dont like me but i just wanna know this cuz i dont know anyone else but u [19:41] Salvation122: I don't even know who you are. [19:41] Salvation122: But, no, you're not on my buddy list. [19:42] Idiot IM Girl: who is this [19:42] Salvation122: Joe. [19:42] Idiot IM Girl: ok whatever [19:43] Idiot IM Girl: this is trent [19:43] Idiot IM Girl: i know it is [19:43] Salvation122: Does Trent normally use proper grammar? [19:44] Salvation122: Who am I talking to, at any rate? [19:44] Idiot IM Girl: shut the fuck up ..

K well i wouldnt know cuz i dont fuckin talk to trent ..

And yea he prob. does when he is being joe. [19:44] Idiot IM Girl: sydney .. [19:44] Idiot IM Girl: dumbass [19:44] Salvation122: Sydney who? [19:44] Salvation122: Where do you live? [19:45] Salvation122: What's Justin's last name? [19:45] Idiot IM Girl: well u would know since ur under his buddys list right???

And since his llist is mixed up with mine so i have all his contacts .. [19:45] Idiot IM Girl: and he prolli has mine [19:46] Salvation122: Justin Seals? [19:46] Salvation122: That still wouldn't tell me where you're from, or what your last name is. [19:46] Idiot IM Girl: trent ur gay..

Go listen to the kmk or smoke weed or coke or somthing. [19:47] Idiot IM Girl: well snort coke!

Not smoke it [19:47] Salvation122: I'd really rather have hot kinky buttsex with you. [19:48] Idiot IM Girl: ohh so u do know me ? [19:48] Salvation122: hahahaha fooled you [19:48] Salvation122: goddamn that was ez [19:48] Idiot IM Girl: fooled me with what [19:48] Idiot IM Girl: i knew you were trent [19:49] Salvation122: wutevr [19:49] Idiot IM Girl: shut up .. [19:49] Idiot IM Girl: i knew .. [19:49] Salvation122: seriously tho i've wanted to fuck you for like the longest time [19:50] Salvation122: cum on [19:50] Salvation122: nothin to say? [19:50] Idiot IM Girl: trent ..

Seriously tho do i come up on ur list [19:50] Salvation122: u were alrdy on my list [19:50] Idiot IM Girl: cuz i have justins whole list...

PLUS I ONLY FUCK ASSHOLES WITH THE LAST NAME CLARK [19:51] Salvation122: oh come on [19:51] Salvation122: i wouldn't telll him [19:51] Idiot IM Girl: shut up trent i know ur sitting right there with justin ..

And tell his to check his e-mail [19:51] Salvation122: justin's not here [19:51] Salvation122: seriously [19:51] Salvation122: call his cell [19:52] Idiot IM Girl: like i want anything to do with him [19:52] Salvation122: hahaha [19:52] Salvation122: seriously tho u should come over and get drunk [19:53] Salvation122: it'd be fun [19:53] Idiot IM Girl: maybe sometime ..

U are pretty cute .. [19:53] Salvation122: awww [19:54] Salvation122: how old r u again?

I forget at the moment [19:54] Salvation122: too much weed ahahaha [19:54] Idiot IM Girl: 16 [19:54] Salvation122: o right [19:54] Salvation122: duh [19:55] Salvation122: so honestly sydney [19:55] Idiot IM Girl: or too much coke! [19:55] Salvation122: ur intrested n me? [19:55] Idiot IM Girl: maybe [19:56] Salvation122: well i guess i can be kinda a dick [19:56] Salvation122: sorry bout that [19:56] Idiot IM Girl: k i know you just doing this to tell justin ..

And everything else [19:56] Salvation122: guys do dumb things around hot girls [19:57] Salvation122: no i'm just doing this cuz i'm high and bored [19:57] Salvation122: i do like u tho [19:57] Salvation122: y don't u cum over and hav a toke? [19:58] Salvation122: cum on [19:58] Idiot IM Girl: haha funny [19:58] Salvation122: nah seriously [19:58] Salvation122: no one's home, it's boring [19:59] Idiot IM Girl: call justin im sure hed like to get high [19:59] Salvation122: he can't [19:59] Salvation122: grounded [19:59] Salvation122: bsides i'd rather smoke with girls neway [20:00] Idiot IM Girl: ohh for his dad finding him talk about coke or whatever.. [20:00] Salvation122: yeah [20:00] Salvation122: and then justin said he snorted it off a hooker's ass [20:01] Salvation122: which is damn funny but stupid to say to a pissed off dad [20:01] Idiot IM Girl: he e-mailed me last time tell me about how he loves me till the day i die and he really really needs me to be his friend [20:01] Salvation122: didn't here that [20:02] Salvation122: seriously, come over,may be we cn sneek him out of his house [20:02] Idiot IM Girl: he said to his dad that or he was writing that to someone else and his dad found it [20:02] Salvation122: he said it to his dad [20:02] Salvation122: yelled at him [20:02] Salvation122: it was fuckin hilarious [20:02] Salvation122: but stupid [20:02] Idiot IM Girl: TRENT im FUCKING done with JUSTIN!

I HATE HIM HE IS A ASSHOLE WHO I NEVER SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH [20:02] Salvation122: wut? [20:02] Salvation122: wut the hell? [20:03] Idiot IM Girl: i hope justin moves to vegas .. [20:03] Salvation122: OMG [20:03] Salvation122: DID HE DO LINES OFF YUR ASS [20:03] Salvation122: BECUZ THAT WUD B FUCKIN FUNNY [20:03] Idiot IM Girl: SHUTUP TRENT [20:03] Salvation122: OMG HE DID DIDN'T HE [20:04] Salvation122: otherwise you wouldn't have gotten all pissed [20:04] Salvation122: awesome [20:04] Idiot IM Girl: trent ur not making sense [20:04] Salvation122: that's cuz i'm high [20:04] Salvation122: seriously, cum over [20:10] Idiot IM Girl: why so u have some chick there to beat my ass or what [20:11] Salvation122: i dont hit girls [20:11] Salvation122: shit [20:11] Salvation122: thats not cool [20:11] Salvation122: nah, i'm just bored [20:12] Salvation122: and honestly kinda pissed at justin [20:12] Salvation122: and i figure yur pissed at him 2 [20:12] Idiot IM Girl: well justin does haha me has hit me....

And u prob have some chick there to do it for u ..

Why are you pissed at justin [20:12] Salvation122: he puked in my car saturday night [20:12] Salvation122: and then didn't clean it up [20:13] Salvation122: fucker [20:13] Salvation122: anyway [20:13] Salvation122: i figure if yur pissed at him 2 we cud hook up and it'd be like stabbin him in the back [20:13] Idiot IM Girl: haha what did u give him A beer .. [20:13] Salvation122: no dude [20:14] Salvation122: we stole sum of my dad's scotch [20:14] Salvation122: and he did like six shots really fast [20:14] Salvation122: and then puked all over the place [20:14] Salvation122: dumbass [20:14] Salvation122: doesnt kno how to pace himself [20:14] Idiot IM Girl: yea bad choice he cant drink one without puking ..

And i would hook up with you to stab him in the back but u wouldn't really do it [20:15] Salvation122: sydney [20:15] Salvation122: HE PUKED ALL OVER THE INSIDE OF MY CAR [20:15] Salvation122: u do not fuck with a mans car [20:15] Salvation122: its serious bizness [20:15] Idiot IM Girl: u dont have a car [20:16] Salvation122: my dads car [20:16] Salvation122: and then i had to clean it up yesterday [20:16] Idiot IM Girl: hahaha that sucks [20:16] Salvation122: after it had been in the garage overnight [20:16] Idiot IM Girl: thats fuckin gross should have made him eat it up .. [20:17] Salvation122: believe me nothing smells wurse then 12-hour old puke [20:17] Salvation122: so like i said i'm pissed at him [20:17] Salvation122: so cum on over and we can get together [20:17] Salvation122: fuck the little bitch where it hurts [20:17] Salvation122: hahaha [20:19] Idiot IM Girl: where did justin meet his little bitch ? [20:19] Idiot IM Girl: i heard she is like the dumbest person in Gilbert [20:19] Salvation122: i dont remember [20:19] Salvation122: sum concert i think [20:20] Salvation122: or sumthing [20:20] Idiot IM Girl: ohh really he went to a concert this week ..

I doubt it he has no money [20:20] Salvation122: sydney i honestly dont kno [20:20] Idiot IM Girl: k [20:20] Salvation122: so r u cuming ovr or wut? [20:21] Idiot IM Girl: you should come talk to me at school tomorrow infront of justin ..

If ur really bad at him .. [20:21] Idiot IM Girl: mad** [20:21] Salvation122: i'd rather hook up w/u and hav both of us tell him about it [20:21] Salvation122: haha show him pictures [20:22] Salvation122: that'd be hilarious [20:22] Salvation122: and bsides that way we'd both get laid [20:22] Salvation122: which is a nice perk [20:22] Idiot IM Girl: haha yea but NO ..

We should just pretend to date for a while [20:23] Salvation122: pffft [20:23] Salvation122: if ur going to get even w/ sum1 u should do it right [20:23] Salvation122: go 4 the gold and shit [20:23] Idiot IM Girl: and i will act like i dont give a shit if you smoke weed ..

Do some coke .. or hang out with gurls and then u can even dump me .. [20:24] Salvation122: haha [20:24] Salvation122: that cud work [20:24] Salvation122: but we shud like kiss or wutevr nfront of him tomorrow [20:25] Idiot IM Girl: i think we should ..

I always thought you were hott..

And i could tell everyone that ur my boyfriend! [20:25] Idiot IM Girl: ok ..

Come up to me and then we will kiss ... [20:25] Salvation122: nah [20:25] Idiot IM Girl: chicken [20:25] Idiot IM Girl: ? [20:25] Salvation122: it'd look weird 2 justin if i was trying 2 find u [20:25] Salvation122: so cum find me [20:26] Salvation122: and just like grab my head and pull me down and kiss me [20:26] Salvation122: hahahaha [20:26] Idiot IM Girl: well lets meet somewhere .. [20:26] Idiot IM Girl: where justin always is ..

So its mutual [20:26] Salvation122: okay [20:26] Salvation122: shit, i cant think right now [20:26] Salvation122: where wud be a good place? [20:26] Idiot IM Girl: are you sure you wanna do this??

CUZ I DO [20:27] Salvation122: shit sydney [20:27] Idiot IM Girl: what [20:27] Salvation122: if u really want 2 do this y don't u just cum ovr now [20:27] Salvation122: and we can practice [20:27] Salvation122: hahaha [20:27] Salvation122: but yeah i do [20:28] Idiot IM Girl: haha yea but i am a pro so i think i can wing it [20:28] Salvation122: still tho [20:28] Salvation122: cud b fun [20:29] Idiot IM Girl: well we will find out tomorrow right ?

Give us somthing to look forward to [20:29] Salvation122: true [20:29] Salvation122: hahahaha i totally have a boner now [20:29] Idiot IM Girl: so where are we going to meet .. [20:30] Salvation122: i dunno [20:30] Salvation122: like in the morning right? [20:30] Idiot IM Girl: yea !! [20:30] Salvation122: so [20:30] Idiot IM Girl: how about right after 1st hour .. [20:30] Salvation122: nah man [20:30] Salvation122: before class even [20:30] Salvation122: so he'll have all day to be pissed [20:31] Salvation122: and then we can do it again before we go home [20:31] Salvation122: hahaha [20:31] Idiot IM Girl: okay im there... [20:31] Idiot IM Girl: but where are we going to kiss at? [20:31] Salvation122: so like right by the door by the parking lot? [20:32] Idiot IM Girl: justins not there in the mornings [20:32] Salvation122: o right [20:32] Salvation122: well right after 1st works then [20:32] Salvation122: just come up to us when we're walking in the hall and grab me and kiss me [20:32] Idiot IM Girl: k how about right in the middle of tiger hall [20:33] Salvation122: do we usually go by there?

Hahaha i'm so spaced out right now [20:33] Idiot IM Girl: cuz he stands by the wall by the pole. [20:33] Salvation122: oh right [20:33] Salvation122: yeah that's cool [20:33] Salvation122: and you should like wrap your leg around me and shit [20:33] Salvation122: hahahaha [20:33] Salvation122: u should come over [20:34] Idiot IM Girl: i will see how the kiss goes tomorrow and then i will tell u if or when im comin over ..

So u might want to practice with ur elbow or somthing hahahaha [20:34] Salvation122: hahaha [20:35] Salvation122: hey sydney, u had sex w/ justin right? [20:36] Idiot IM Girl: yea [20:36] Salvation122: how big wuz he? [20:36] Salvation122: he's all ways braggin about his damn dick [20:36] Salvation122: i'm like fag i dont care [20:37] Idiot IM Girl: hhahahaha [20:38] Idiot IM Girl: he would always be like its small huh [20:38] Salvation122: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [20:38] Salvation122: fuckin fag [20:38] Idiot IM Girl: what did he say to you about me [20:39] Salvation122: normal stupid guy shit [20:39] Idiot IM Girl: like ..

What [20:39] Salvation122: u were grabbin the headboard and screaming from the dozens of times you orgasmed, tht shit [20:39] Salvation122: the kind of crap where its obviously horseshit [20:39] Idiot IM Girl: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA [20:40] Idiot IM Girl: i must have missed that one [20:40] Salvation122: yeah [20:40] Salvation122: figured [20:42] Idiot IM Girl: so are you gunna pretend to be my boyfriend or what [20:48] Salvation122: ok [20:48] Salvation122: ill see u tomorrow [20:52] Salvation122: o i forgot [20:52] Salvation122: just come up and kiss me tomorrow, like its a suprise [20:52] Salvation122: ok? [20:53] Idiot IM Girl: no ok u should me like and sydney hung out last nite ..

And then be like well im gunna go talk to my gurlfriend and then i will be in the middle of those two poles in tiger hall and we come give me a hug and then we will kiss ..

K? [20:54] Salvation122: no trust me [20:55] Idiot IM Girl: no trust me ..

Cuz i can walk up to a bunch of stoners its too weird [20:55] Salvation122: justin's WTF will be much louder if you just show up and kiss me and then talk about how we're going out [20:55] Idiot IM Girl: i never did even when i was with justin [20:55] Salvation122: cum on [20:55] Salvation122: itll be funny [20:55] Idiot IM Girl: u have gym right 1st hour [20:56] Idiot IM Girl: ??? [20:56] Salvation122: uh right [20:56] Idiot IM Girl: how about me meet each other before the actual bell rights and we can walk up to him with all ur guys friends holding hands and kissing and stuff [20:56] Salvation122: so just like find me after class and just kiss me real quick in the halls [20:57] Salvation122: just find me after 1st hour [20:57] Salvation122: trust me it'll be a lot easier [20:58] Idiot IM Girl: ok [20:58] Idiot IM Girl: c u tomorrow *** Idiot IM Girl has gone offline *** SessionStart ( Salvation122: Idiot IM Girl): Tue Apr 05 16:23:29 2005 [16:23] Idiot IM Girl: OMG U FUKKING ASSHOLE [16:23] Idiot IM Girl: I HOPE U FUKKING DIE [16:23] Salvation122: What? [16:24] Idiot IM Girl: I SHOULD HAV KNOWN NOT TO TRUST U [16:24] Salvation122: Who the fuck are you, and why are you so upset with me? [16:24] Idiot IM Girl: IT'S SYDNEY TRENT [16:25] Idiot IM Girl: THE GIRL THAT KISSED YOU TODAY [16:25] Salvation122: Oh my dear sweet Christ, you actually did that? [16:25] Idiot IM Girl: U SHOULD KNOW U FUCKING PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE [16:26] Salvation122: He...

You have to be kidding.

This is too goddamn wonderful to be true. [16:26] Idiot IM Girl: AND JUSTIN BROKE UP WITH ME [16:26] Idiot IM Girl: I HOPE YOUR HAPPY YOU FUKKING BITCH!!!! [16:26] Salvation122: You know all those times last night I said I wasn't Trent?

I wasn't Trent. I was messing with you the whole time.

I cannot believe you actually kissed the guy. [16:27] Salvation122: And then he punched you! [16:27] Salvation122: This should teach you a valuable lesson: don't pester people on AIM. [16:27] Salvation122: This has got to be the single most awesome thing that I have ever accidently done.

I punched a girl in the face over the internet! [16:27] *** Error while sending IM: This user is currently not logged on For those who don't get it, that means she blocked me. But wait!

The story sort-of almost continues! Session Start ( Salvation122: Idiot IM Girl): Wed Apr 06 16:57:03 2005 [16:57] Idiot IM Girl, under a new handle: trent this is Sydney and i just wanted u to know the hacker that got into our computer and combined our buddy lists came on pretending to be u so if u have any wierd things happen...thats why i have changed mine [16:57] Salvation122: Jesus fucking christ. [16:57] Salvation122: My name is not Trent. [16:57] Salvation122: You are incredibly dumb. [16:57] Salvation122: Please go away. [16:59] Salvation122: I don't know who Trent is, but I assure you that I have owned the Salvation122 screenname since 1997.

I am not him. This is not his screenname.

Remove it from your buddylist. [16:59] *** Error while sending IM: This user is currently not logged on

05-14-2008, 09:46 AM Bwahahahahaha!

Five glorious stars.

05-14-2008, 09:50 AM Oh god, I remember reading that a while back.

Glorious. Definitely 5 stars.

05-14-2008, 09:54 AM Truly glorious.

05-14-2008, 10:09 AM Never gets old.

05-14-2008, 10:50 AM What this log fails to convey, and what I am too lazy to edit in, is that the part where she comes back on the next day was in 32pt, bold, italicized, underlined, red font.

Like, one letter took up an entire chat window.

I had to maximize the damn thing just to be able to read it.

05-14-2008, 10:58 AM Glorious classic

05-14-2008, 11:03 AM Better each time I read it.

05-14-2008, 11:06 AM That is fantastic.

5 stars

05-14-2008, 11:08 AM The benchmark for 5 star posts from now on. So good. For some reason it is just funnier because of the name Trent, I dont know why but its so funny.

05-14-2008, 11:22 AM Quote: : The benchmark for 5 star posts from now on. So good. For some reason it is just funnier because of the name Trent, I dont know why but its so funny.

Sort of like that one comic with Trevor's new beer bong You don't know why it's funny that his name is Trevor, it just is

05-14-2008, 12:02 PM Long, but incredibly worth it.

05-14-2008, 12:17 PM I remember this one, it's so great.

05-14-2008, 12:20 PM Is there a way to give this 6 stars?

05-14-2008, 12:43 PM Epic.

05-14-2008, 12:47 PM wow.

05-14-2008, 02:50 PM Hahahahaha that is perfect.

05-14-2008, 03:19 PM Wait, so a guy is in school, a girl comes up out of nowhere and kisses him, his first reaction is to punch her in the face !?

05-14-2008, 03:24 PM Quote: : Wait, so a guy is in school, a girl comes up out of nowhere and kisses him, his first reaction is to punch her in the face !? Not just any girl, it's the guy's best bro's crazy ex.

05-14-2008, 04:33 PM I told you this before Sal, but I feel I must again. Good job.

05-14-2008, 05:39 PM I remember this. And it is fantastic .

05-14-2008, 05:42 PM It's funny, but also so mean .

In a funny way.

05-14-2008, 06:16 PM Quote: : Quote: : Wait, so a guy is in school, a girl comes up out of nowhere and kisses him, his first reaction is to punch her in the face !? Not just any girl, it's the guy's best bro's crazy ex.

I'm pretty sure she wasn't the ex until after being punched. Quote: : It's funny, but also so mean.

In a funny way. It is, and I used to feel kinda bad about it, except that three days later she's trying to talk to this dude who just punched her, and I refuse to feel sympathy for people that stupid.

05-14-2008, 08:31 PM Oh my god Oh my god Can we be internet best friends?

05-14-2008, 08:36 PM This is one of the best things to ever appear on the forums.




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