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How can I avoid gaining weight in a long-term relationship? - Bodybuilding.com Forums
I know a lot of couples both put on weight after being together long term because they get 'comfortable' with each other and don't feel any pressure to look their 'best' anymore, they eat out a lot, some women have man size portions of food when their partners cook etc I'm in a long term relationship, how can I avoid this weight gain that seems so common?!
I go to the gym everyday for an hour already, but its just the eating habits...since we eat together most of the time he rarely wants to eat my healthy meals...so what to do...?
Have any of you ladies put on weight being in a long term relationship?
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Quote: : I know a lot of couples both put on weight after being together long term because they get 'comfortable' with each other and don't feel any pressure to look their 'best' anymore, they eat out a lot, some women have man size portions of food when their partners cook etc I'm in a long term relationship, how can I avoid this weight gain that seems so common?!
I go to the gym everyday for an hour already, but its just the eating habits...since we eat together most of the time he rarely wants to eat my healthy meals...so what to do...?
Have any of you ladies put on weight being in a long term relationship?
I put on a couple pounds years ago, but then I just explained to my husband how import to our health it was to eat better consistently.
Eating healthy doesn't have to taste blained and nasty at all, in fact eating healthy is very tasty and makes you feel better.
It took some teeth pulling haha but once I made him some different meals he realized that it's not that bad.
Saturday nights we make it a date night and go out to eat and have our cheat meal and really enjoy it.
I'd try just talking to him and explain how important it is to you, plus start off slowly and make minor changes if its hard for him.
Like using whole grain breads/rice/pasta etc, incorporate fruit and veggies with dinner.
Good luck with everything:}
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I've been married for 3 years and I have to say that's a pretty long term relationship..and at first my husband didn't want to eat healthy or workout like I wanted too...but once I got in better shape then him...he started to reconsider.
Bring your man to the gym..to show him where he could possibly be someday with hard work and a training partner (you).
It's taken me a super long time to get my husband to want to do something physically active...we signed up for a triathlon this past year and it just literally changed him!
He became disciplined about getting to be on time so we could get up early and train..and now he cross trains with the weights too.
He doesn't always eat as good as I do...I dont eat weekly pizza as he does...but he does eat clean 75% of the time now..and that has really helped me with my goals too.
Just a suggestion though...dont expect a man to eat salad...no one fills up on salad...but when you guys go out..your just gonna have to practice self control like the rest of us on here..
And order you meat/veggies etc...
Another thing I've found is when working out with a partner (husband) you eat good 6 days a week and save up for those treat meals...so it's something to look forward to, together.
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Quote: : I know a lot of couples both put on weight after being together long term because they get 'comfortable' with each other and don't feel any pressure to look their 'best' anymore, they eat out a lot, some women have man size portions of food when their partners cook etc I'm in a long term relationship, how can I avoid this weight gain that seems so common?!
I go to the gym everyday for an hour already, but its just the eating habits...since we eat together most of the time he rarely wants to eat my healthy meals...so what to do...?
Have any of you ladies put on weight being in a long term relationship?
Honestly, I've been with my husband (4 years engaged + 1 year married) 5 years.
I ONLY put on weight when we first met because it was my first time living on my own and working full time.
I was stressed out of my mind and I gained that freshman 15.
I was miserable and hated it so I decided to workout and never let that happen again and I haven't ( I lost the weight in like a couple months).
I didn't change my diet so it was healthy, I just didn't eat **** all the time.
BUT now I have changed my diet to be healthier..
Not cause I gained weight but because I like the fit look and want that.
I was skinny/skinny fat before..I just want muscle instead.
All you can do is watch what you eat and how your clothes fit and how you look in the mirror to gauge yourself.
If it's important to you then it shouldn't be a problem to stay fit.
Also, if your husband won't eat healthy...
Then eat what you want, and he eat what he wants.
You can't stop him from that, he's an adult.
Unfortunately he has to be motivated to stay fit for himself.
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I've lost almost 40 lbs since getting married.
If you are only keeping in shape to look good for others, then it may be a risk to gain weight.
If you keep in shape for yourself, then I don't see how being in a relationship would have any effect.
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There is nothing set in stone that says you are going to gain weight in a long term relationship...My sister is overweight and always says, "Just wait until you get married, and then you'll start gaining weight!" This is totally absurd b/c my fiance and I have been living together for almost 3 years, we have a child, our finances are together, and I'm in the best shape of my life.
He does eat unhealthy foods and brings home some candy every now and then, but I just stay away from it.
He has a very physical job and weight lifts, so he just burns it off.
He eats healthy most of the time and loves his salads.
It's all just a matter of choice and life style.
Being in a relationship doesn't make a person fat;
It's pure laziness.
"The person who really wants to do something finds a way;
The other person finds an excuse."
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It's all about priorities.
You still gotta do what makes you look and feel good.
Don't sacrifice your own well being because you are in a relationship.
I am married and I weigh less NOW than I did when we were either dating or engaged.
It's hard b/c my husband has a fast metabolism and can eat what he wants - so he will buy candy or just normal foods (that aren't "clean")...but I know my own metabolism and I just can't eat those treats and still look decent.
We only eat out about 2x/month now, which is nice.
It makes it more "special" when we do and it saves us so much money.
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It's just like going to college.
You don't have to gain the Freshman 15.
I lost 50 pounds my freshman year (I entered quite overweight).
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Quote: : I'm in a long term relationship, how can I avoid this weight gain that seems so common?!
Simple---by not using that as an excuse to be unhealthy & not exercise!
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In my first long term relationship I went from 130 to 173 over the course of nearly four years.
It was a combination of things that contributed to it, we were both lazy, he didn't care about his appearance which rubbed off on me (my bad), I ended up really sick for over a year and highly depressed.
Once that relationship ended I lost 50 lbs thanks to a lovely eating disorder(sarcasm) but I did establish better eating habits when I did eat, lean meats, whole grains and some healthy fat.
Then I met my now husband, I got over the eating disorder and put on nearly 20 lbs.
Once I hit the 140 mark I was like whoa I am not going back to being fat again so I did something about it.
Luckily DH is supportive of healthy eating and we are going to start P90X together once he's over the flu.
I think it all comes down to personal accountability and will power.
Sure I could blame my ex and say that he made me fat with his poor eating and exercise habits, but at the end of the day I chose to eat the crappy food and not workout with him.
Just my thought on the subject.
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Quote: : There is nothing set in stone that says you are going to gain weight in a long term relationship...My sister is overweight and always says, "Just wait until you get married, and then you'll start gaining weight!" This is totally absurd b/c my fiance and I have been living together for almost 3 years, we have a child, our finances are together, and I'm in the best shape of my life.
He does eat unhealthy foods and brings home some candy every now and then, but I just stay away from it.
He has a very physical job and weight lifts, so he just burns it off.
He eats healthy most of the time and loves his salads.
It's all just a matter of choice and life style.
Being in a relationship doesn't make a person fat;
It's pure laziness.
"The person who really wants to do something finds a way;
The other person finds an excuse."
I completely agree with you ...
And I love that last line --- very well put
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Quote: : Simple---by not using that as an excuse to be unhealthy & not exercise!
Agreed...it's that simple!^^
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I'm roughly the same weight now that I was when my boyfriend and I met but I do have less fat and more muscle than I did back then.
(We'll be celebrating 4 years in November)
I found it hard to eat healthy when we first moved in together but then I realized that we don't always have to eat the same meals.
Plus, I'm the grocery buyer for both of us so that helps.
I keep no candy or cookies in the house.
I also buy whole grain foods.
My boyfriend can eat what we have or he can figure something else out.
I also cook all of my own meals and my boyfriend can eat what he wants.
He is the pickiest person I've ever met.
Needless to say, he's largely on his own as far as food goes.
As far as exercise goes, I work out for me, so that didn't change when I got into a relationship.
I keep hoping that my boyfriend will see my gains and want to join in the fun but he hasn't yet.
Point is, if you're working out for yourself, it shouldn't be hard to continue.
As far as food is concerned, remember that you don't always have to eat the same thing, or eat together for that matter.
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The only reason why i put on "weight" in my current long term relationship is because when i met my BF i was coming out of a bad bout of depression (i had about 5 crazy things including a lay-off from my first job that happened all within a few months of each other).
I had lost a lot of weight due to stress and not eating (when i get depressed i loose my appetite).
I was probably down to about 100lbs, the thinnest i have been since i was a pre-teen.
I looked horrible and i felt horrible.
Then i met my Current BF, got back into weight training and put on some much needed weight a a lot of muscle.
Now my goals are to lean out and not get "skiny" like that ever again.
I just want to be a lean mean iron pumping machine.
Also my BF and i live together and he is more of a clean eating freak then i am (and i am pretty bad).
It helps when both of you have the same mentality and can agree on the same foods to have in the house and know what your portion sizes are.
As an ex BBer he has given me a lot of good advice and has helped me along with my training and diet it ways that you can't imagine.
After going this far, i could never let myself go back to being unhealthy and eating bad foods.
When i start to notice that i am not being as strict as i should be, i quickly tighten myself up, get back on the wagon and keep at it.
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You cant blame putting on weight on a long term relationship.
If you feel the need to eat everything around you, thats your fault not your partners.
To maintain the body you have, just keep doing what your doing now and dont get lazy about it.
If you really want it you'll make it happen.
Ive been with my current partner for 3yrs and I haven't gained any weight.
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Quote: : I've lost almost 40 lbs since getting married.
If you are only keeping in shape to look good for others, then it may be a risk to gain weight.
If you keep in shape for yourself, then I don't see how being in a relationship would have any effect.
Absolutely true. Your motivation has to come from your desire to be healthy/fit/etc for yourself.
If you're doing it for someone else, that will die quickly.
If you have your own goals and standards, being in a long term relationship shouldn't matter.
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My husband and I have been married for 7 years now, together for over 9.
When we started dating I did gain weight initially, but I started out pretty underweight and gained just enough to nudge me into a healthy weight range.
My eating habits weren't good though, my husband and I both ate a lot of junk the first couple years while we were together.
I relapsed into anorexia several years ago and in attempts to recover I started lifting weights and focusing more on eating healthy.
I regained the weight yet again, but in a slower, more controlled manner and was able to keep things pretty lean.
My husband still eats a lot of junk and isn't at all interested in fitness, though we do things together like going hiking and stuff to maintain an active lifestyle.
My husband doesn't always eat what I do for dinner.
We eat together as a family, but sometimes he chooses to fix something that varies from what I'm eating.
Not always, but sometimes and that is okay.
He tends to binge on chips and candy, I tend to eat regular meals throughout the day so I don't have the urge to binge on that stuff.
That doesn't mean I don't indulge too, but I really try to eat healthily as much as possible and save room for treats here and there.
Moderation has been key for me because if I get too rigid eating disordered behavior (restricting or binging and purging) will rear it's ugly head.
So it's definitely possible to be in a relationship with a person and stay fit and healthy, even if they aren't necessarily interested in following the same lifestyle you are.
It depends on how badly you want it.
I feel better about myself when I eat a more nutrient-dense foods rather than junk, but at the same time I don't deprive of that stuff either because I want my lifestyle to be something I can maintain in the long-term.
Quote: : If you are only keeping in shape to look good for others, then it may be a risk to gain weight.
If you keep in shape for yourself, then I don't see how being in a relationship would have any effect.
Good point!
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My b/f and i have been together nearly 6 years, we don't eat the same meals at dinner.
I have my pre planned meal and i cook him what he wants.
Sundays he does a traditional English Sunday roast dinner, so I made Sunday my cheat meal day and tuck in to a meal I didn't have to make.
If we go out to dinner I just try an get something plain and he has what he wants.
He's in great shape though, just annoyingly able to scoff sugar without much happening to his muscle definition.
Their usually not that bad really, roast chicken potatos and veggies with a little gravy.
Could be worse. I used to eat what he ate and around the same portions, then it dawned on me that i don't actually HAVE to eat what he eats and started dropping weight.
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All in the time I've known my siginificant other, I've gained 60lbs and then lost 80lbs.
Eek!
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Would love to read all the reply's and im sure ill repeat what has been said....but its a life style.
Its how you live your life so you shouldn't change it for anyone.
Being in a relationship is supposed to enhance your life not take away.
I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who has bad eating habits and is a couch potato, hence im still single.
Lol.
You just need to lay down the law, be determined and naturally your partner will follow.
Ever notice when ya hang around someone long enough you start acting like them?
Same thing. Be an inspiration to him and he will want to be better, like you!
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