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Parenting Debate Forum - Foster Parenting
Anyone have any experience with foster parenting, or being a foster child?
I have been interested in doing this for some time.
Thanks!
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| Replies(18) HcoBrunette06 replied on June 26th, 2007 Especially eHealthy my aunt and uncle did foster parenting for many years.
It's really great but then again it's really really hard.
They'd have 1 or 2 kids for a few months or up to about 2 years before they were sent back to their parents or adopted.
You get really attached and it's so hard when they have to leave, but then again it's worth it because you know that you gave that child a good home for that amount of time and that's all you could do.
i think foster parenting is a great idea, just know that there are a lot of tears involved.
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| ladylee70 replied on June 26th, 2007 Extremely eHealthy Re: Foster Parenting We were fostering to adopt a child, age 10, a few years ago.
It still very emotional for me to even talk about because we really had grown to love the child.
We have a bio-child who was age 2 at the time.
His safety was in jeopardy, I think due to jealousy issues.
The agency really should have only considered families with older children or no children for him.
It was a great injustice to him.
We feel like failures but had to do what's right for both kids involved.
Thankfully, the child is being adopted by a family that has only older siblings.
We do still have open communication with the child (can't say name -confidentiality) and hope to for years to come.
We are going to be foster parents again, when the children are considerably older.
I am expecting child #2 in four weeks.
I won't consider foster care until the children are at least 8 years old.
We are considering in a few years doing respite care for medically fragile or younger children, although my heart has always been for older foster kids.
Fostering is hard work but is really worth it.
If you don't have younger bio kids at home, I would strongly recommend it if your heart is being pushed in that direction.
When you have younger biological kids and take in older foster kids, it can just get too emotional for the foster kids.
Our experience was just so unfortunate.
I actually wanted to be a foster parent or adopt an older child for as long as I can remember.
At first, I never really wanted my own children because I wanted to go down the foster or foster to adopt road.
Please do it if it's on your heart and mind.
These children really need some consistency.
It takes a strong person, not just a kind-hearted person, to be able to foster.
If you are interested in more details about my personal experience, I can pm you.
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| Azure777 replied on June 26th, 2007 Experienced User i was in the foster system for 1 year...
I got beat everyday and was even driven to attempting suicide...
Would you ever imagine a 11 year old attempting suicide?...
Didn't think so...
But sometimes you get lucky and find a good foster home, one were your actually taken care of, one where you are fed and clothed, one where you don't get your Christmas presents taken away for having a nosebleed on the kitchen floor because you got punched in the face by your foster moms 18 year old daughter.
So, if your looking to be a foster parent, please keep the children in mind.
Keep all of the children who you could make or break in mind, and then do your best!
Go for it, change the way children and parents think about foster care!
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| ladylee70 replied on June 26th, 2007 Extremely eHealthy
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Wow, thank you everyone for your responses.
Ladylee, I've heard there is a lot of heartbreak, and it's almost like you are hand tied by the system, too.
Even though it seems really frustrating and emotionally draining, I think I'll try.
I'm working on my master's in social work and a theme in foster care is the kind of treatment you recieved, azure.
I know I would not do that.
I would like to think I could make a difference to at least one child.
I'm also reading this book "A piece of cake" about this girl just brutalized by the foster care system.
It is inspiring to me to get up and go grab every kid I see and hug the heck out of them.
This is certainly something my boyfriend and I have seriously considered, and next year I'll finish school, and we plan on buying a bigger house, so it may not be so far away.
I highly doubt we'll have biological children so this may be the right thing for us.
Thanks again!
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| HcoBrunette06 replied on June 26th, 2007 Especially eHealthy birch, i know i don't know you real well, but lately i've been seeing a lot of great posts by you and the good things you've done and i think you seem to be a really great person lol it's awesome that there are people out there that care about someone other than themselves so much.
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| ladylee70 replied on June 26th, 2007 Extremely eHealthy Birch!!
I am so happy you are strongly considering it.
Please let us know when you start the process.
There really needs to be some good foster homes out there and it sounds like you would be great!!!
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| HcoBrunette06 replied on June 26th, 2007 Especially eHealthy i would love to do something like that.
Not for the montly paychecks they send you either (i think they do that?) but that'd be awesome to give a child/teenager a good home when you know they wouldn't have it otherwise.
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| Birch replied on June 27th, 2007 Moderator
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Well good luck! & you're welcome!
and i don't think you've been a "sasqwatch" however you spell that word how many animals do you have?
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| Birch replied on June 27th, 2007 Moderator
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Lol wow that is a lot, but that's great!
i want a kitty farm i love kittens.
Except i hope they don't all decide to have sex, because i couldn't handle that noise all the time haha Did you find this post useful?
| Bratz72 replied on June 27th, 2007 Experienced User I have two .aunts that are foster parents and had been for well over 20 years each ....the loved it and grew attached too each one of those kids my one .Aunt has pictures on her wall of every single child thats has come into her home even if it was for only a day...both .aunts did end up adopting a child one a boy and one a girl ...unfortunately neither foster at this time due too retirement but they never ever had any regrets and would never had wished that they never fostered these kids Did you find this post useful?
| ladylee70 replied on June 27th, 2007 Extremely eHealthy
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I think the biggest concern I would have is possible undx reactive attachment disorder.
Some of these children will purposely hurt animals and not seem to have any emotion attached to it.
.R.A.D. is pretty serious.
As a foster parent, you often don't know what kind of child you will receive.
Although general attachment disorders (somewhere on the spectrum) can be common.
Actual .R.A.D. is not that common.
I still think animals are a good thing!
Your plants grow well, huh?
That's pretty funny.
Just from your posts and now with the knowledge you can take in so many animals and it doesn't feel like a lot to you, you are going to do quite well in foster care.
You don't seem like a high stressed, high anxiety individual.
I know I could only have probably one or two foster children at the most given my high stressed personality.
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| sick_mama17 replied on June 28th, 2007 Active User, very eHealthy
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