Welcome to Omgili,
Omgili ( Oh My God I Love It ;) is a search engine for discussions. With Omgili you can find answers and solutions, debates, discussions, personal experiences, opinions and more... To learn more about Omgili click here.
This is a complete preview of the discussion as it was indexed by Omgili crawlers. Use this preview if the original discussion is unavailable.
Click here to view the original discussion.
 |
|
 |
|
Mind-N-Magick Pagan Forum - Love and relationships
I've been wondering lately about things like love, relationships, marriage and the like, and wondering how likely it is for a person to find someone to commit to for life who they love and will be happy with.
TV shows and movies these days make it seem so difficult and unrealistic to expect falling in love, getting married and having the whole family dream.
It's really unfortunate that romance and family seem to have gone out of style in favour of focusing on having a career and sleeping around.
I'd really like to settle down one day with someone, raise kids and watch them live their lives and I'm especially looking forward to seeing them get married and expanding the family even more.
I think that's all I really want in life, to build my own family and for there to be a lot of love.
It's hard to believe that it will happen, though.
It seems so hard to find someone of like-mind, and even harder to make a relationship work when love and relationships aren't really a priority for most people, especially my age.
My last relationship ended because he wanted to focus on school and couldn't deal with a serious relationship.
It's a fair point, but plenty of people can balance both if there heart is really in it.
I see it work out for some people, though, which gives me hope.
My cousin has been with her boyfriend for 2 years, despite going to school in different cities throughout most of their relationship.
It's hard for them, but it makes them so happy when they can be together in person.
My cousin is in grad school now, but they'll probably get married when she's done.
I'm happy for her, but I wonder when/if I will ever find a relationship like that.
It seems like whenever I meet someone and they seem perfect, something always goes wrong.
It's hard to keep the faith.
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
I hear ya. I really just want to be in a relationship with someone.
I've done the "sleeping around" thing (well, not really sleeping around...but ya know) and I really would prefer just to be with one person.
Just have faith that one day it will happen, and it probably will
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Relationships have to so many different things to them.
As for love now the only thing I have to say is "love is like a roller coaster, it has it's up's it has it's downs but in the end all you want to do is puke."
Love is such a beautiful thing, but it's not as genuine and "tangible"(think thats the word) as it use to be.
Finding people is difficult and tedious effort.
I personally don't believe in "love" anymore.
At least the terms you are speaking.
I don't believe in it but I have seen it before and when it is right is it beautiful.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love exists, and it does happen.
In my experience though it is always those that are looking for it so hard that can't find it, and those who just cruise along being happy in themselves who seem to trip over it.
And I think that's the secret.
You have to love yourself, and be comfortable within yourself and not need someone else to guarantee your happiness.
When you reach that state then you are at your best to offer true love and companionship to another person, and do not come across as needy and turn people off.
When one comes across as needy then the 'significant other to be' feels pressured, and rather than things developing naturally and deeply they back away.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Renarien gives good advice.
You should heed it.
Some people think they have to get married by a certain age, and usually don't choose the right person.
After awhile disappointment is flt on both sides and they separate.
Nasuda, don't knock love.
It does happen..but most of the time at a time you least expect to find it.
If you are impatient and actively searching, it will evade you.
Too many people want love on their terms..it has to match everything on their checklist..those that want love on their terms won't find it.
True love just doesn't work that way.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ansu wrote on 05/26/08 at 4:52am:
Too many people want love on their terms..it has to match everything on their checklist..those that want love on their terms won't find it.True love just doesn't work that way.
I agree that the check list approach doesn't work.
However an awareness of what is important to you in a serious relationship is useful.
Things that can help meet my needs in a serious relationship include intelligence, them being a geek (like me), and a certain amount of submissiveness in their personality because I like to wear the pants in a relationship.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Renarien, that is the exact same thing I said to my mom when she was depressed about relationships.
She didn't listen and ended up with a psycho.
Anyway, I agree with Renarien.
Take time to find yourself and the love for yourself and love will find you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Renarien wrote on 05/26/08 at 4:01am:
In my experience though it is always those that are looking for it so hard that can't find it, and those who just cruise along being happy in themselves who seem to trip over it.
That usually seems to be the case, although sometimes it's hard not to be looking for it, especially when you're lonely.
These days I'm just trying to believe in it and stop being so negative.
I figure I'm happier when I'm positive, and if I believe I'll find somebody some day, then I won't be so desperate for it now.
I've been pretty cynical in the past, and I think that's just as bad as being needy.
I was sitting with one guy I was interested in who was also kinda into me, and there was article about a gay couple who had been together for years, and he said it was very inspiring and I just snorted.
I don't like being so negative though, so now I'm just trying to keep an open mind.
To be honest, I sort of met somebody I really like and am feeling kind of hopeful and optimistic, but I'm also trying my hardest not to expect much...
Or anything at all.
Nasuda wrote on 05/26/08 at 2:07am:
I don't believe in it but I have seen it before and when it is right is it beautiful.
You don't believe in it, but you've seen it?
Isn't that a bit contradictory?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's been my experience that love is just so tricky you can't possibly expect to get it right based on any advice.
Every situation is so different.
Things that seem like they should work don't and vice versa.
Getting married for the wrong reasons....it can work, but it's doubtful.
In the end, like ansu said, there's resentment because what you wanted was never really there.
And even if you go along happily, that doesn't always work either.
You can have someone pursuing you who seems perfectly fine and like they'd be great.
But then it turns out they were all about the chase.
Once they "have" you, they lose interest.
Even though the thought of losing you makes them very upset, they aren't willing to do anything to "keep" you.
All that said, it's possible for things to work out very well.
I've seen relationships last that evolved very quickly.
Anything is possible.
You just have to be willing to get hurt in the process, or you'll never find that person that's right for you.
I have come to the conclusion that when you find the right person, you know because suddenly everything in your life makes sense.
By that, I mean that you know why all the good AND bad things happened in your life.
It was all to get you to that exact point so you could meet that person.
It may not be the case in reality, as not everyone believes in "fate", but I think that's how it should feel.
Like the planets are all aligned and there's just something very right about the whole situation.
Sorry, I tend to go on about this subject.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
GeekGoddess wrote on 05/26/08 at 1:04pm:
By that, I mean that you know why all the good AND bad things happened in your life.
It was all to get you to that exact point so you could meet that person.
Even then there are no guarantees.
Ugh, life sucks
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Arion wrote on 05/26/08 at 3:18pm:
GeekGoddess wrote on 05/26/08 at 1:04pm:
By that, I mean that you know why all the good AND bad things happened in your life.
It was all to get you to that exact point so you could meet that person.
Even then there are no guarantees.
Ugh, life sucks
Oh truer words were never said!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
GeekGoddess wrote on 05/26/08 at 3:58pm:
Oh truer words were never said!
Hehe, I do my best.
I've had that feeling more with friends than significant others.
I've met some amazing people because of the detours my life has taken, but I'm still waiting on the worthwhile significant other thing.
Nothing ever happens in that regard, it's very frustrating.
I'm almost 20, I always expected to have someone by now!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Arion wrote on 05/28/08 at 8:51am:
I'm almost 20, I always expected to have someone by now!
Oh, Arion, you have your whole life ahead of you!
Time is ticking, but not very fast, not yet.
Don't rush into anything because you think you should have someone by now.
(Or at any given moment.) That's the big mistake a lot of people make.
Try to enjoy the people that make you happy, even if it's just for now.
The right person will come along, but no one ever knows when that will be.
Don't miss out on great opportunities to get to know people because they weren't quite right.
You may need them somehow to grow so that when you meet that right person, you are exactly who you were suppsoed to be.
Ugh....there I go again.
I told you I tend to go on about this subject.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
But I'm so old!
GeekGoddess wrote on 05/28/08 at 1:02pm:
Ugh....there I go again.
I told you I tend to go on about this subject.Tongue
Haha, go on all you like!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love is something that falls out of the sky one day when you have given up on it.
The harder you look for it the harder it will be for you to find it.
It is real though and you will know when it has happened to you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|