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What has someone said to you that has dropped your jaw in disbelief? : AskReddit
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I have a friend who's 24 and all around intelligent guy, however a couple of things that he's said to me have made me flabbergasted in disbelief.
1) The reason your big gulp gets wet on the outside is because the water is seeping through the plastic.
If you leave it there long enough, nothing will remain but syrup and food coloring.
2) Women have four holes down there.
Anus, Vagina, Urethra, and the mysterious extra hole (he couldn't tell me what it does).
This one blew my mind the most.
I know this guy has had sex, he's even said that he's performed oral sex, so he's seen a vagina up close and personal.
What about you?
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Shh... we are not supposed to talk about the secret 4th hole.
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If you gaze for long into the 4th hole, the 4th hole gazes also into you.
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Battle not with 4th holes, lest ye become a 4th hole
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4th hole was recently introduced by Taco Bell to satisfy your late night cravings.
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And somehow you've managed to ruin any future dining experience I planned on having at either place.
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You're not helping either.
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A horse, a horse.
My 4th hole for a horse!
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The 4th hole is Chuck Norris?
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Do you think he might just be very confused about the placement and the function of the cervix?
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I don't think the cervix is a hole.
It was described in my sex ed class as "a thick mucus plug," a phrase that has haunted me ever since.
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Went and searched up Cervix on wikipedia.
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The cervix is the end of the uterus and where a baby would come out of and where endometrium is shed during the period...
How could it not be a hole?
you develop a mucous plug during pregnancy that blocks the cervix, and the cervix develops mucus regularly, but that's definitely not what it is.
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It's like a magic eye picture.
You have to look beyond it to actually see it.
You can only enter it on accident.
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You have to say the secret password for it to open up.
Unfortunately the password is different for every woman.
But if fortune favors you and you utter the right word, you will find boundless treasures within the 4th hole.
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Treasures in the form of guts probably.
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"If this doesn't endear you to Obama, nothing will."
This from a guy pointing at the Obama smoking a cigarette picture that was later shown to be a fake - much like Obama.
He thought it was real, but it was a fake propped up by right-wingers.
Sound familiar?
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I never understood the point of this propaganda.
He's smoking, so what?
It's not like a nicotine addiction automagically makes a person evil or unfit for president.
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When I was bar tending in NYC my fellow bartender was talking with a patron who was clearly Jewish.
He tells her his uncle died in Auschwitz.
She gives and aww sorry to hear that to which he responded yeah he got really drunk and fell out of the guard tower.
The look on the womans face I will never forget.
His delivery was so deadpan, it was perfect.
After the shock wore off I about pissed myself laughing.
Probably not what you intended OP but man my jaw hit the deck.
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Lulz, fuck those jew bastards!
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Never thought I'd use this stupid meme, but:
Obvious troll is obvious.
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What, i thought it was cool here to hate the jew?
No?
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No really, just stop being an idiot.
Create a new account and try again because your trolling fails.
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Fucking jew fuck.
You zionist bastards are all the same.
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YEAH FU- Oh, nevermind, I see the joke has been beaten to death already.
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I have a question (and this is coming from someone who has grown to love Jews).
Do you really think you are fighting against anti-semites rather than making people into anti-semites by behaving like a hateful whackjob?
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So its just "be one step more manipulative than the next guy", then, I guess.
OK.
EDIT: the guy who deleted these posts had the SN BurgerKinger.
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I'll do whatever the fuck I want.
I've finally figured out that Reddit doesn't give a flying fuck about the war crimes that muslims do, only the ones that jews do.
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The best lines are those that are both horrible and yet awesome.
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Women have four holes down there.
Anus, Vagina, Urethra, and the mysterious extra hole (he couldn't tell me what it does).
This one blew my mind the most.
Learning the truth always does.
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At my grandfather's wake, my very caucasian uncle was sharing stories about his recent trip to Hawaii.
He stated that he is sad because whites are becoming the minority there.
I don't think he realized that Hawaii has a native population.
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Hawaii has a native population
Who are an even smaller minority.
WTF? Hawaii is today completely flooded with asian immigrants.
They are just packing into every inch of that beautiful expensive land.
Whites from several nations had very quickly become the majority not long after their ships ran across it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Hawaii
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Tell me about it.
In the 1950's it was so bad that some couldn't even wait to land their planes to enjoy hawaii.
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Do you mean the 1940s, when WWII happened, or is there some other joke there?
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No joke, just an observation.
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Um, the rest of America has a native population too.
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Not any more, muahahahaha!
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No, they're about 1.5% of the population still.
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But we've been raping their women so frequently that they're so watered down that they don't even belong to their own tribes anymore!
Muahahaha. Also alcoholism muahahaha.
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Wow, a caffeinated troll.
:)
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Caffeine doesn't exist.
Look it up.
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Are you rickless rolling me?
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I'm not sure how that would apply.
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There are far more asians in hawaii than islanders or whites
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"But all those non-whites look the same to me!"
cough
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57.53% Asian 41.26% White 3.33% Black 2.48% Native Hawaiian
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A guy I know said that because Obama's (absent) father was a Muslim, he would have turned out to be a Muslim.
He was trying to make the argument that religion was somehow genetic.
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If I were you I would've gone for maximum cognitive dissonance and got him to claim that homosexuality is a choice.
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I wonder how effective a strategy this would be.
Don't you get it, you guys?
Homosexuality must be a choice, because gays can't have babies!
Edit: Or is it already?
I mean, is that really the thought process that some people take to conclude that homosexuality can't possibly be naturally arising?
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I thought Obama's father was an out atheist?
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Most of the stuff said by creatio...
Nahh too easy.
probably when a comp sci teacher insisted that win98 and win2k was built on the same kernel.
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My jaw dropped just reading that.
This is the first time I can justify an LOLWUT?!
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I can believe it, yet steadfastly refuse to.
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Economics isn't magic, it's mysticism.
Edit: Love the down votes.
As interesting as I find economics, you have to admit that there's been a huge amount of dogma, evangalizing and non-falsafiable theories in the last 235 years.
There's always hope that this new era of standard record keeping, universal computing and constant regression analysis will change that;
But we still shoulder the burdens of an anecdotal legacy.
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"Palin '12" - Some idiot I know in the South.
Ugh, I didn't think these people existed.
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I can one up you.
This isn't something someone said, but a bumper sticker.
I noticed it over this past winter break.
It had the McCain/Palin format, but it instead said "Palin/Palin."
This was in northern/central Maryland.
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Oh god. Please tell me that they didn't have children.
PLEASE.
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This isn't along the same line as yours, but once I was playing Apples to Apples with my two best girlfriends, and we got bored so one of them was just flipping through all the Noun cards, reading them aloud.
She gets to one, casually, and reads: "Niggers."
My other friend and I gasp in unison, our jaws dropped.
She bursts out laughing and shows us that it's one of the blank cards you can write your own words on.
For a few seconds we both seriously thought the game came with the word "niggers." That was an intense moment of shock, I have to say.
Apparently our faces were priceless.
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I know this isn't what you mean but it's the first thing that came to mind.
A few years back I was trying to convince my boyfriend that he was verbally abusive and controlling (which he was) and he wouldn't admit to it no matter how many examples I gave him.
One day we were having an argument about me making some new friends that he wasn't fond of and he blurted "why so they can entertain your bullshit ideas".
My mouth dropped and I just looked at him with this sort of, "do you see it now?" kind of look.
It was amazing the look on his face when he finally realized he was an asshole.
We had been together 2 years by that point so after a long, insane process of what was essentially behavioral modification we are doing much better now.
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Good to hear he realized his mistakes and showed improvement.
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Yeah, I know but just like drugs there is always the danger of a relapse.
He has a good heart though and we love each other so if he ever gets like that again, we'll deal with it again.
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Lucky. Mine still can't see how much of a verbally abusive controlling jerk he cane be,
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Whyyy are you dating a verbally abusive controlling jerk?
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You have a lot to learn, young one.
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Having just gotten out of my first relationship - relatively cleanly, but with enough complication to make me understand this point - I find the proportion of "why are you still with this jerk" posts on relationship threads pretty telling about reddit's demographics.
It's disturbingly common, and yet these people think they're qualified to speak up on the issue.
Edit: And just to clarify, yes, if someone is beating you, you should not be in a relationship with them.
But there are hundreds of responses on reddit that are completely disproportionate to the harmfulness of the partner's actions.
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I had to point it out quite a bit exactly when he was doing it and then not let him make excuses for it.
It was very frustrating at times.
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Director of Billing for my company showed me a spreadsheet where she had $.75 and $.2 adding to a total of $.95.
I was talking it over with her and I said "Where did you get 20 cents for that number?" She said "What?
( looks at the page ) No, it's 2 cents.
See, because the 2 lines up with the 5 in the ones column." My chin hit the floor.
She was serious. She makes twice as much as me and she was completely fucking serious.
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.2 would be twenty cents.
.02 is 2 cents
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Uhm, yeah... That's why his jaw dropped...
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|where she had $.75 and $.2 adding to a total of $.95.|
I think he's talking about the fact that that statement is true.
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She meant to write 2 cents.
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Only joke_explainer can get away with antics like that and get out with positive karma!
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My aunt was showing me some photographs she took and she stopped at one of them that had a glare or reflection from the flash.
She asked me if I knew what it was and as I started to explain she interrupts me to say, "It happens when you catch an angel by surprise!" She was completely serious.
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I know a religious family that keeps a photo of a member of their family that has one of those glares in the shape of an angel.
They swear up and down an angel is watching over the dude in the picture.
I have to admit it's a funny coincidence because it really is shaped like an angel, wings, dress, long hair, the whole shabang.
I never voiced my opinion on that one because they would just get offended, but it is very silly.
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When I was a kid my parents told me there was a big fat guy in a red suit that crawled down our chimney with a bag that contained hundreds of thousands of presents for children all around the world.
Yeah, right...
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I know I mentioned it a few times on AskReddit already, but back in April at the hospital when they told me my father was going to die.
He'd made several trips to the hospital in the months prior, and he was always home a few days later once they stabilized him.
He was supposed to get a liver transplant, but the whole waiting list process is majorly flawed and he was left to die without one despite suffering for months (people who attempt suicide automatically are placed at the top of the list).
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Everyone in the US should be an automatic organ doner.
The program should be opt out only.
To anyone reading this, Please take the next 10 seconds and open your wallet and fill out the back of your drivers license if it has a spot for it.
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Register as an organ donor with your state and/or order a donor card here
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If you're interested, Dan Ariely explains why some countries have extremely high numbers of donors and others have extremely low numbers.
(TED talk)
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I don't believe your understanding of suicide and organ transplant is correct.
If anything its the opposite.
You try to kill yourself, they know you are likely to try it again and they don't waste the organ on you.
You might get one free attempt, but after the second one you are dropped.
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If someone got an organ transplant and then killed himself, dying in the emergency room, could they take his new organ and give it to someone else?
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I have never heard of anyone getting a re-used cadaver transplant.
I think the already reduced function from the previous transplant would make it unlikely.
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That Dick Butkiss is a real person
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I know a girl who seriously believes in "orbs" that show in many photographs.
http://rebeccashott.com/images/DresdenDust1.jpg
http://john1701a.com/prius/photos/Prius_NightSnowFlash_02.jpg
http://image30.webshots.com/30/5/4/16/262650416iFqCju_fs.jpg
It's just fucking dust/snow reflecting the flash.
Apparently there are whole communities devoted to this shit.
I'm not surprised religions are popular, people believe all kinds of dumb shit.
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What does she think they are?
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She thinks they are ghosts or spirits.
I know somebody who believes this as well.
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What do you mean?
They're orbs! They're mysterious.
We don't know anything definite beyond that .
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They come from the fourth hole.
Shhh!
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You may want to redo that comment.
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Yeah i've known some people to think that they are gaurdian angels, or God's presence.
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My sister is fucking AMAZED by orbs she finds in photographs.
I make fun of her every time she brings it up but somehow, she is still fascinated by the whole thought that they are ghosts.
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Its dust particles.
You see them more now b/c the lens and the flash are right next to each other on most modern digital cameras.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/347041/ghost_orbs_or_dust_and_moisture_paranormal.html
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Yeah my Nikon does that with every picture I take at night.
Now either I have a special ghost sensing camera or it is a piece of garbage.
I will have to go with piece of garbage...
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At the doctor, to take an X-ray: Take off your pants and boxers, put these around your balls.
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I'm from the town government and I'm here to help then he condemned my house.
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"None of the scientists ever looked up to the sky?
Because I can see the sun is orbiting earth so I don't get why people are so gullible as to believe it's the other way around."
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Wittgenstein: "Why do people say that it was natural to think that the sun went round the earth rather than that the earth turned on its axis?"
I (Elizabeth Anscombe, a friend and pupil of Wittgenstein) replied: "I suppose, because it looked as if the sun went round the earth."
"Well," he asked, "what would it have looked like if the earth turned on its axis?"
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From the Earth's point of reference, the sun does orbit the earth.
But in all seriousness, the Earth doesn't orbit the sun.
The earth and the sun orbit a common center of gravity...
That center of gravity happens to be within the sun.
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That center of gravity happens to be within the sun.
A point inside the Sun is the Sun.
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A point inside the Sun is the Sun.
Not when you're trying to be pedantic
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I exist on a point inside the earth.
I am the earth?
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That center of gravity happens to be within the sun.
Well, if we're really going to get pedantic, then no.
The Earth travels on a geodesic through a 4 dimensional spacetime whose curvature is created by the aggregate contributions of a stupendously large number of particles each of which curves space very slightly.
These contributions can be fairly estimated by assuming that all the local gravity is caused by point masses at the center of the Sun and Earth.
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Http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stellar_wobble
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Someone on reddit told me that counterfeiting being legal would stabilize the monetary system.
I hear some pretty out there theories, but that one just made my jaw drop.
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One of my coworkers blatantly asked me (in front of others, mind you) why I was gaining so much weight and if I had been eating a lot of chocolate.
He also followed another employee around in the cafeteria and shook his head at everything she went to grab, until she opted for a turkey sandwich on wheat.
Prick.
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The best way to counteract that would be to order a chocolate bar and smack your lips while you eat in front of him.
NEENER NEENER could also be stated after the fact.
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NEENER NEENER
One upvote for you, good sir.
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Hope someone (fat) took a dump on that guy
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Why are you gaining so much weight, then?
Shit, I've accidentally gained 10-15lb before, and if someone let me know earlier I'd have been ecstatic!
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Hint: when your clothes are getting tighter, or you increase in clothing size, it's not because you're losing weight
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Obesity related diseases are the leading cause of early death in the US but he's the prick for pointing out your flaw.
Yeah, how very American of you.
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I've seen you in a couple of threads recently.
You're quickly becoming my new favorite troll.
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I'm just asking Fatty to take a look at herself before calling everyone else a prick.
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Prepare to be downmodded by the hoards of chunkers on the internet
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My plan is to enrage them so much that their cholesterol clogs come free and create full blockages.
That way I plan to eradicate the earth of these grotesquely obese slugs.
Dear fat people - you make me sick, especially when you smell like bad milk.
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I think we should just blend them up into burgers and feed them to starving people around the world.
It'd reduce world population and stop world hunger all at once, this is what jesus would do.
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I think we work together, and you are definitely putting on weight
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He also followed another employee around in the cafeteria and shook his head at everything she went to grab, until she opted for a turkey sandwich on wheat.
I'm really sorry, but that guy sounds hilarious
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My ex-boyfriend told me he preferred Digg over Reddit.
(I broke up with him soon after he made that comment.)
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That's a completely valid reason to end a relationship.
I tip my hat to you.
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He's a really nice guy, alagash.
Give him a chance!
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When discussing domestic abuse my grandma pipped up, "sometimes a woman needs a good slap in the mouth." She also sleeps with a rusty machete under her bed..
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Asian Grandma? Cause I've got a few of those.
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You've got a few asian grandmas, or a few rusty machetes under your bed?
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Sometimes, everyone needs a good slap in the mouth.
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Sleeps with a rusty machete under her bed..
My grandmother did the same thing...
Granted she had sever dementia and thought people were out to get her at the time.
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She also has hidden in the house an unlicensed gun and sais.
My brother was really into TMNT.
I dont know how she would ever use them though
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Not to rain on your parade, but does she ever lose track in conversations, maybe ask you the same questions more than once?
By the time we had to move my grandmother into a home, she had hidden weapons all over the house.
Granted I don't know your exact situation, and everyones family is a little coo coo bananas in their own way, but this could also potentially be a sign that something isn't right.
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2) Women have four holes down there.
Anus, Vagina, Urethra, and the mysterious extra hole (he couldn't tell me what it does).
This one blew my mind the most.
I know this guy has had sex, he's even said that he's performed oral sex, so he's seen a vagina up close and personal.
Skene's glands and the Bartholin glands?
Technically, that would be 7 holes.
Are you sure YOU'VE seen a vagina up close and personal?
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I loved that Dr. Seuss book.
The 500 holes of Bartholin Cubbins
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I always bring a microscope into the bedroom with me.
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Finding your penis is that difficult?
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I have to use vacuum tweezers to masturbate.
D:
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"Who's Carl Sagan?" -said by friend and fellow Cornell alumnus
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My dad said he wanted McCain to become president and die so Palin could be president.
He said she would do nothing and nothing was better than doing something.
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He said she would do nothing and nothing was better than doing something.
Write that down and repeat it when he falls and breaks his hip in a few years.
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Have you seen the shit American presidents have done lately?
Your father might be onto something.
Probably why every now and then a dead guy actually wins an election.
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Women have a fourth hole.
Yeah, I mean it's only visible if you're looking from exactly the right angle, like the entrance to Hogwarts.
But ya gotta believe that it's there.
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I had an ex boyfriend [who was] convinced that if a woman had a visible space between her thighs, it meant she was no longer a virgin.
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How did you manage to convince him of that?
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Poor writing on my part.
My ex boyfriend was convinced, not by me, but by his own stupidity.
I tried to tell him otherwise.
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Poor writing on both our parts (I was trying to make a joke).
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He was just saying that no one likes fat chicks.
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Call center manager to another manager:
"How do you spell SQL?"
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Pronounced as: sequel, or S.Q.L?
I think I already know the answer, but it is important.
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No. the bartholin's glands produce mucous, not "boulbourethral fluid." the boulbourethral gland is the homologous gland on a male.
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I was telling a girl I know that I don't hang out with my family because the discussions inevitably degrade into arguments where you just start saying anything that discredits the other person, even if they're on a different topic, or just made-up insults.
She replied (and this made my jaw drop) that she had no idea people actually did that.
My jaw dropped for two reasons: first, because even if you don't often witness this often as an adult, you sure as hell experience it daily in grade school.
And second, because she would adopt these tactics in a heartbeat when she began to lose an argument.
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Former Mayor of Memphis Willie Herington who not even two weeks ago resigned from the position announced he wants to run in the special election to fill the recently vacated position.
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That made your jaw drop?
Must not be from Memphis - we've been dealing with his special brand of bullshit for years.
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I am from Memphis.
It's not that he did it it's just the thought of what he could do next.
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I have caught a number of kids cheating on tests over the years.
It is an automatic 0 and may have other consequences depending on the history of the offender.
At least 5 times now I have been told by the parents "He is a good kid, can you give him a pass this one time-his dream is to go to Notre Dame."
For some reason it's always been Notre Dame.
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This only makes sense if you are a french teacher.
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Because those fucking Irish kids are so shifty...
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But seriously, this forth hole, is it fuckable?
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It depends on what the meaning of the word "is" is.
I was young as hell and even I was like you gotta be fucking kidding me.
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This is a fact I read in my Bio textbook that made my jaw drop: the biomass of all prokaryotic organisms is 10x the biomass of all eukaryotes.
That is, the weight of all animals, plants, fungi, molds, amoebas, algaes, and tons of other single celled organisms COMBINED equals 1/10 the combined weight of all bacteria + archaebacteria.
Holy crap.
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Friend of a friend, a bit younger than me (i'm 34): "i'd like to have at least two kids, so if one is gay, i can be proud of the other one"
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That's a terrible plan, both of them could be gay.
It's better to just fuck like bunnies and hope one of your kids isn't a miserable failure to your expectations.
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I once had a conversation with my dad (who is an intelligent college graduate with a degree in engineering and a vice president at a large cement company) where he revealed to me that he felt global warming was a crock of shit.
We debated it for a while and his reasoning was basically that its just tree huggers trying to destroy his company (cement production is a huge contributor to greenhouse gasses).
The fact that scientists believe it too didn't matter to him.
"Next thing you'll tell me is that you don't believe in evolution either," I say sarcastically.
"Well..." he says.
My respect for him drops even further as he wrote this away as bull shit too.
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This example is more "read" than "said," but I think it applies.
I was behind a car a couple days ago and it had a license plate frame that said, "Evolution: The Modern Creation Myth."
I live in Utah, so I am accustomed to seeing stupid anti-evolution claptrap, but that one bent my brain.
They are clearly anti-evolution, which is usually caused by religion-induced ignorance...
But at the same time they are comparing evolution to religion by calling it a "myth." Does not compute.
Maybe they were nihilists...
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A few days ago I was at my folks' house and my mom said, "Do you watch Glenn Beck?
He's great!" She was completely serious.
Jaws were dropped, teeth were gnashed, and pants were shat.
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It's called the taint chakra.
When it aligns with your spine and heart center, you are that much closer to gaining nirvana.
...duh.
Edit: My roommate once said, totally seriously: "You know, facebook isn't real life."
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The mysterious extra hole is right behind the knee.
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"Whats that?" "Firefox." "Whats that?" "Internet browser." "But thats not the blue E" "Thats internet explorer." "So why are you using that?
You're going to get viruses."
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Since reddit value honesty: Here's the top of my list.
"I know we're cousins, but I'm really, really attracted to you."
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I went to a Christian college.
A few from there (though these were bad examples, many of the people I met were good intelligent people there)
A person working for an adoption agency came in to speak to the college.
She said she specifically found things to nit-pick about gay couples so they'd be denied the ability to adopt...she said she thought it would be better for a child to end up with a abusive straight couple then a loving gay couple.
In one class a professor decided to see how racist the class was.
He asked how many students would date a black person, out of 35 students only 4 said they would.
One kid said the Left Behind movie made him become a Christian...
I was at first going to be a pastor.
In one of my ministry classes I was the only person who said they didn't think it was okay to physically force your kids to go to Church (albeit, the ministry people were the biggest douches on campus).
In another class of about 35 people everyone other than myself and one other kid thought it was not only okay but it was good to torture our enemies.
They called people torturing us evil, but if we did it they got excited about it.
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I was raised Catholic and had attended a Catholic elementary school.
In the mid 80's, we moved to Texas and had had a difficult time finding a church that we liked, settling on St.
Michael's in Bedford.
I was attending a normal public high school by 10th grade and was invited by a friend from school to attend his church, First Baptist of Euless, one Sunday.
I was open-minded and honestly curious at that time about the differences between the various sects of Christianity.
I went...
And it was a massive eye-opener.
The sermon was less a discussion of tenets and expression of their faith and more a heavily politicized tirade, with topics of immigration, abortion, communism, and homosexuality all being charged as evil or in league with Satan.
I asked my friend if it was always like this and why didn't they talk about their faith instead of all these other things that don't really impact us and pull us together as a community.
He said that these were the things that pulled them together, that they had to stop them before they ruined the earth.
I told him I didn't understand, that our church was very different in that we didn't really talk about others;
We instead chose to focus on ourselves and our faith.
As we were on our way out, we passed by the minister and he said goodbye to my friend and asked him who I was, having not seen me at "his church" before.
My friend introduced us.
While we shook hands, he asked me what church I typically went to.
I replied that I was Catholic and went to St.
Michael's. He withdraw his hand immediately, violently pulling it out of mine, as if I'd told him I was a leper and said "Catholic!?!
Then you're going straight to hell.
There's no salvation for you, son." and walked away.
Keep in mind, this was not some small "country" church;
This was [and is] a MAJOR church in the community with hundreds, maybe thousands, in attendance every Sunday.
To have a so-called man of God tell me such a thing was devastating.
I asked me friend why he would say such a thing.
He said, the only way to change it was leave the "false religion" of Catholicism and join his church.
Needless to say, this experience caused an abrupt end to our friendship.
When I got home, I told my mom what had happened.
By this time, I was in tears from anger, fear, and confusion as to how he could say such a thing and how my friend could not see that this was a ridiculous thing to say.
She was furious and wrote letters to the church about the incidence and never heard a word back.
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"I think you're kind of cute."
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My 11th grade World History teacher positively breezed through WWII and did not mention a word about the holocaust.
I asked why she would skip the subject.
Her reply was that she "would not be teaching rhetoric and propaganda in her class".
In a state of utter shock, I asked if she was joking.
When she replied no, that she would hear nothing more on the subject, I was forced to inform her that she was an "insane bitch" for which I received 3 weeks of ISS, once my mother talked them out of expelling me.
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Should have gone to the principal instead of trying to hash it out with someone who was clearly nuts.
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She said "By the way...I'm still married.
And my husband is coming home."
:(
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Overheard a conversation between two teenagers on the bus today, more of a "facepalm" than "jaw-drop", something along the lines of;
" i wuz like... doin like...
My like driving test...
And like... now you like...
Have to like... do like...
Readin an shit...
" O.o
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