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Life at the doctor's office - please feel free to discipline my children
Once upon a time I went to the pediatrician with kids in tow.
BOY had to see the doctor for some reason.
I was also babysitting a neighbor's child at the time, so I had an extra with me (with permission, of course).
The boy and I went to go back to the room, leaving the other children behind in the waiting room (old enough for this, IMO), and I said to the receptionist, "If they act up, please feel free to tell them to knock it off and behave."
Her response, "It's not my job to babysit your children."
I was a bit taken aback by this.
I didn't expect babysitting per se, but I do expect "the village" to jump in correct bad behavior if necessary, KWIM?
My children tend to be well-behaved and sit quietly, but you never know.
I've read enough blogs and complaints by staff in doctor's offices about unruly children in these situations and the staff feeling unable to correct poor behavior - the mom and her hellions are here, and we're just going to sit back and watch and complain about it later...mom tends to be as big a problems in these situations, if not the bigger problem, and hopefully not the norm.
I felt as if I was giving the staff permission to demand appropriate waiting room behavior (if needed)...that was my intent, anyway.
So I responded that I don't expect them to babysit, but if the children act up, please tell them to knock it off or come get me, so that I may deal with it.
This was a pediatrician's office, for one;
And for two, the children were at an age where you can't all conglomerate in a room and no one cares about privacy.
At this point all the children were older and privacy was a concern, so leaving them in the waiting room seamed a reasonable option and quite expected in the land of pediatrics.
I expect good behavior from my children, but also know they have the ability to misbehave, and why shouldn't the staff correct them if that is the case?
Was I completely off base here?
Was I out of line telling the front office staff to feel free to discipline if the kids act up;
Get a bit too "romper room" in a waiting room setting?
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Sorry, but yes, you were completely off base.
It *isn't* the job of the receptionist to watch your children.
And admonishing them or correcting them, or whatever, isn't her job either (as she pointed out to you).
In order for her to tell them to "knock it off" whenever they were acting up, she would be required to pay attention to THEM, instead of whatever other tasks she is responsible for.
Asking her to do so was presumptuous, I'm afraid.
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If at all possible, I do think it's more polite to visit the doctor's office with only the children being seen, leaving others at home with a caregiver or parent.
Considering that the staff probably deals with some pretty egregious things over the course of a day, I can see where they would misunderstand your statement.
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If they're not old enough to be trusted to behave unsupervised in the waiting room alone then they should not have been left.
You were quite rude to expect the receptionist to be your "village" and baby-sit.
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I can see your good intentions ("empowering" her, in a way) but it really didn't come out the way you meant.
Essentially, if you feel you have to say something to her regarding your children's possible misbehavior, they probably shouldn't be left there;
Not everyone is into the "village" idea and it probably sounded to her like you expected extra attention -- attention that would distract her from her job.
I agree with LizC that it would be best to take just the kid who needed to be seen.
(I know this isn't always possible, just that it would be the best choice if you are able.) It would probably work out best for everyone that way.
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I have to agree with the others.
Unless the children were old enough and mature enough to wait without there being any fear or concern about them acting up, then you shouldn't have brought them.
Not everyone subscribes to the Village mentality and expecting strangers to do your job, any tiny amount of it, is rude.
Your "village" may be your family members, other parents your kids are around, etc.
Not some poor receptionist that you just stuck with your kids.
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She was right: It isn't her job to supervise children in the waiting room.
That's the job of the adults who brought the children.
Even when there are difficulties in scheduling, it is unfair to expect someone else to monitor the children, especially when that person already has and is performing another task.
If the kids couldn't be trusted to behave on their own, they didn't belong at the doctor's office.
I understand (sort of) what you were trying to say to the receptionist, but it still wasn't her job to discipline them.
And just because you told her she could call them on the carpet doesn't mean that she would have had the time to do so or that they would have listened.
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Quote: from: m2kbug on August 23, 2009, 12:41:26 PM
I felt as if I was giving the staff permission to demand appropriate waiting room behavior (if needed)...that was my intent, anyway.
...
I expect good behavior from my children, but also know they have the ability to misbehave, and why shouldn't the staff correct them if that is the case?
But what is appropriate waiting room behavior and what is appropriate measures to correct them?
You were out of line.
Not only because of the reasons others have given, but because you were putting the staff in an impossible situation if your kids had acted up and they had to make the call what you would want to have done...or potentially face your wrath.
No you might not be like that but some mothers are.
The staff is right to protect themselves.
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Thank you everyone for your responses thus far.
I expect good behavior from my children in the waiting room and they do behave and I trust them fully to behave.
But...there's always the BUT...in the event they misbehaved...which I expect they won't, but...
Looks like it was a bit presumptuous on my part to expect front office staff to correct my children if it became necessary...or come get me...either way.
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I actually think "If they act up, please let me know so I can stop it or remove them;
I don't want them to be a bother to you" would have been fine.
It was the "feel free to correct them" that would have forced the woman to interact.
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Quote: from: Shores on August 23, 2009, 01:18:30 PM I actually think "If they act up, please let me know so I can stop it or remove them;
I don't want them to be a bother to you" would have been fine.
It was the "feel free to correct them" that would have forced the woman to interact.
This probably would have been okay.
It's all in the presentation.
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I think your intentions were good and I appreciate it when someone doesn't mind someone else reprimanding a child for doing something dangerous or highly annoying (when the caregiver is gone/distracted/busy) rather than getting outraged and defensive.
However...(not to dogpile you!), I think the PPs are right.
My local library finally put up a sign on the doors and on the desks stating, "Please do not drop off your small children.
We are not paid to babysit and we have our own jobs to do." And then it goes on about them not claiming any responsibility or liability for children left.
If, for example, your kids (or kid and neighbor kid) had taken off out the door--what then?
What if the receptionist is doing her job and one of the kids gets hurt?
I can see them not wanting the responsibilty just from a liability point of view.
(Not saying that *you* would, but others might and if they provide such a service for you )
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On the same token, the receptionist could have been a bit more polite in her reply.
Maybe, "I am really sorry, but we are not allowed to supervise children in the waiting room, as we have too much do to do back here", or some other response.
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I have to agree with the woman and the PPs that it wasn't her job to babysit your children...whether or not they were behaving properly.
Even at a child-based situation, like a pediatrician's office, the people there have work to do that they were hired for and get paid for...and it isn't telling the children of customers, clients, or patients to "knock it off" or to "correct them" when they act up.
They need to concentrate on answering the phone, filing, typing, or whatever the duties are that actually appear in their job descriptions.
I realize that it's inconvenient to have to find a babysitter for your children, especially in an emergency situation where you have to go to a doctor, but I think it's necessary to make other arrangements for having your children supervised if you can't bring them into the examining rooms with you at a doctor's office.
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I've opted out of being part of the village, so I'll just POD the above posters.
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